Aside from culling Donald Trump’s international wife prospects and teaching the world how to disingenuously smile with their eyes, I’m unsure of the exact relevance/function of the Miss Universe pageant. But in a win for the perceived attractiveness of people Down Under, Queensland teenager and current Miss Australia Jesinta Campbell came in third (despite a national costume that included high-heeled ugg boots) after first runner-up Yendi Phillipps (Miss Jamaica) and eventual winner Jimena Navarrete (Miss Mexico).
I watched a portion of the telecast last night and aside from the evening wear section (aka garish gowns of the world) and the self-referential cringers from presenter and Poison frontman Bret Michaels, the most unwatchable yet unintentionally hilarious part of the night was Miss Philippines’ response to this Billy Baldwin question: “What is one big mistake you made in your life and what did you do to make it right?”
To ensure you royally fuck up the Miss Universe Q&A section, stop mid-answer to hype the crowd, avoid the question by claiming moral perfection then summarize with a completely irrelevant point about how much your family loves you? Oh, don’t forget to smile…with your eyes too.
