Gina Rinehart Wants To Allow Criminals To Pay Their Way Out Of Jail

Australia’s richest person Gina Rinehart sounds like she might be preparing to do something nefarious. The mining magnate and parody-magnet has written a column for Australian Resources and Investment magazine, in which she suggests that non-violent criminal offenders should be allowed to pay to get out of prison, or to avoid it altogether. Prisoners, Rinehart says, would be a greater benefit to the country as part of the “tax-paying workforce” than they would in jail. Alternatively, if prisoners were able to roll doubles, they would be able to walk free immediately, and hopefully land on the profitable orange properties.

Because Rinehart can”t go past a state who’s motto is “Everything’s bigger”, she cites Texas as an example of where such a scheme has worked: “Texas has shown us a far more humane, cost-improved and more successful ways of dealing with non-violent prisoners.”

“And before the left media” (ie. us) “shrieks that this would only benefit the richer, non-violent prisoners, for those non-violent prisoners who couldn’t pay sufficiently to get out of prison, there could be other means, such as should they agree to give up their votes, and or passports for x years, depending on the seriousness of the respective non-violent crime, they could then leave prison and rejoin the workforce.” Tops idea, Gina.