I’m going to make an argument here which many of you may well not agree with, but I hope we can hash it out in the spirit of civil discourse and the Socratic method: tennis is a horny sport.
It’s not always considered this way amidst a crowded field of muscular contact sports, but tennis is indeed extremely horny – beyond the quasi-sexual grunts everyone’s always pointing toward. This was merely proven at the Sarasota Open match between Frances Tiafoe and Mitchell Krueger, which was interrupted by fucking.
I won’t describe the gory details, as it isn’t even 7:30am right now, but you may watch it:
Though commentator Mike Cation said during the match that he believed the sound was coming from someone’s phone – preposterous, given the volume – he absolutely revised that opinion on Twitter later on:
The best bit is when Tiafoe yells out “He can’t be that good!” which is a bit rich coming from a pro player of a sport which is built on a solid foundation of sexual grunting.
There’s a lesson here: close your goddamn window.