Tough times for the Commonwealth Games currently going on in Glasgow, Scotland. Jamaican sprint superstar, officially the current fastest man in the world, and a generally outspoken sort, Usain Bolt isn’t having much fun in the northern United Kingdom.
Bolt still travelled to Scotland, despite not competing in his pet event – the marquee 100 metres sprint – but hasn’t taken to the kind-of half-arsed attempt at a Games meet that the Commonwealth Games is. After slipping out of the Athlete’s Village, Bolt was asked if he was having fun in Scotland. His response? A very blunt “Not really.” And when asked what he thought of the Games, he remarked that they were “a bit shit,” before he bolted off “to do some business.”
But seriously, who can blame him? The Commonwealth Games aren’t exactly the most exciting athletic meet you’re ever going to watch. In fact, without Bolt in the 100m final, the Gold Medal winner clocked a time of a shade over 10 seconds, which would have placed him 8th in the London Olympic final 2 years ago.
WIthout the global powerhouses such as the USA, China or Russia, the Games essentially become an exercise in showing how much of a sporting overachiever Australia is. This even despite the fact that we look set to be overhauled by England in the medal tally – something that hasn’t occurred since the last time the Games were held in Scotland way back in 1986.
It’s certainly nice that the Queen has all her Empirical children come to visit her once every four years for a get together and a barbecue. But when you don’t invite the family friends over as well, then everyone’s stuck having sausages without any bread. It’s a movie with no antagonists. A race for participation ribbons. Sure, a win’s a win and we’ll cheer our team on. But the lollies never taste quite as sweet if the kid whacking the piñata isn’t wearing a blindfold.
And it shows in the ratings as well. Last night’s peak audience for the live broadcast was merely 675,000 people. Hamish & Andy’s Gap Year, on the other hand, smashed it out of the park with a whopping 987,000 viewers. That means over 300,000 more Australians preferred to watch a monkey rip a banana off of Hamish Blake‘s crotch than watch James Magnussen almost miraculously steal a gold for Australia despite a back injury so bad he practically had to be wheeled out to the pool area on a hand truck like he was Hannibal Lector.
When you look at it like that, it’s pretty easy to agree with Usain Bolt.
The Commonwealth Games? They are a bit shit.
Photo: WPA Pool via Getty Images.
