Live from ANZ Stadium it’s the opening game of the 2012 NRL finals series! Has a sporting contest ever promised so much drama and intrigue? Talk about bitter rivals. It’s a case of Master vs Apprentice with Des Hasler coming up against his former team and protégé, Geoff Toovey in a clash that that is sure to contain more plot twists than a day time soap. Dog Days Of Our Northern Beach Lives? Kick off at 7:45pm.
7:31 – Big Brother is over. The silky tones of the male model from Mudgee, Ken Sutcliffe fill my living room. All is right in the world!
7:34 – Yes Kenny, this is the greatest game of them all!
7:36 – Johnsy, Lockyer, and Sterlo. Orgy of knowledge.
7:38 – The boys are getting a stretch on. Holy shit!? How is George Rose a professional athlete? I’ve got a new favourite!
7:44 – Barba highlights – “Barba’s not here for a haircut!” Vossy, come on.
7:55 – What does the NRL finals series and your girlfriend have in common?
7:56 – They say 7:45 but they turn up at 8:00 and then tell you a heap of shit you don’t need to know. Just start the damn game!
8:00 – Yewwwwwww! (kick off)
8:01 – Benny Barba dominated and then knocks on. Tuesday night’s Dally M must feel like a long time ago.
8:03 – Another Dogs knock-on. “That’s three times they’ve had their fucken hands in the ruck” – Mick Ennis. Eloquent as ever.
8:07 – Bulldogs:4 – Sea Eagles:0 After absorbing more pressure than Gina Rinehart’s toilet seat, the Bulldogs hit back through a snaking Morris run who then puts Jonathan Wright under the posts.
8:08 – Bulldods:6 – Sea Eagles:0 Inu slots it over easy as you like.
8:17 – A little bit of push and shove after an Anthony Watmough brain explosion. These on-field mikes aren’t exactly family friendly are they.
8:20 – Another Manly high tackle. They can’t run without heads. Lots of niggle creeping in. Also, when did Mick ‘The Grub’ Ennis become such a prat?
8:22 – Speak of the Devil, Ennis denied a try by way of a double movement. Not so chummy with the refs now are you?
8:25 – Tony Williams lets another one drop from the bread basket. And that’s a big fucking bread basket!
8:27 – Jamie Lyon limps off clutching his calf. Manly are in need of some cool heads and if Lyon doesn’t make it back they are in trouble. Buhrer now in a right center against Josh Morris. Uh-oh!
8:29 –Bulldogs:6 – Sea Eagles:4 Ok, I’ll eat my words. Jorge (George? Surely not) Tafua scores in the corner after some slick hands. Cherry-Evans misses conversion from the sideline.
8:32- Sea Eagles: 12 – Bulldogs: 6 Wowsers. Eat those Williams-hating words, Gould! That’s the second try in two minutes that the big man has set up. This time he puts Brett Stewart through for a spectacular long range effort. In other news, Jamie Lyon will not be back. You win some, you lose some.
8:40 – Rucki or ruckuses? Answering the big questions tonight. Thanks Rabs!
8:43 – Halftime! What an action packed 40 minutes. We learnt that despite appearing to be in control for most of the game, the Bulldogs find themselves behind by four points and someone in the commentary box obviously had a gun pointed to Ray Warren’s head as he described Channel Nine’s ‘House Husbands’ as “A top new show” mid call. I feel ya, Rabs!
8:58 – And we’re back. Are Manly going to miss Jamie Lyon? Can the Dogs claw back? Can Rabs and the boys spruik Ben Stiller’s ‘The Watch’ at least five times in the next 40 minutes?
9:06 – Bulldogs:12 Sea Eagles:10 Kris Keating grubbers through and regathers under the posts for a fantastic try. The try is overshadowed by Krishnan Inu’s first ever-documented ‘tunnel ball’ dummy! It didn’t fool anyone but boy, it looked good!
9:11 – If we could donate Michael Ennis’ swear jar to medical research we could cure cancer!
9:16 – TRY! Bulldogs score an 80m try started by Barba, serviced by a Josh Morris break, and then finished by Barba. He’s been well contained most of the match but has proven that you can’t lay off for a second.
9:17 – Bulldogs 16 – Sea Eagles 10 after a missed conversion by Krisnan Inu.
9:23 – No Try! Barba’s second try disallowed for obstruction. Bit of a tough call as Cherry-Evans had no chance of stopping Barba.
9:31 – Barba misses a field goal from in front. “He had enough time to make a sandwich” – Phil Gould. Mmm. Sandwich. One pie is never enough.
9:40 – Manly are struggling! They’ve had nothing this half. The majority of NRL fans are about to rejoice.
9:43 – I agree with Gus. Wow! Dumb penalty from Inu. Thirty seconds to go. Manly need to score!
9:44 – Fulltime! Bulldogs by six. Doesn’t reflect their dominance but a win is a win and it means twice as much in the semis. One game to the GF for the Dogs while Manly face off against the winner of the Cowboys vs Broncos match.
9:45 – Yes! Next up is The Shawshank Redemption. ‘Get busy livin’, or get busy dying.” Goodnight!
