The Boomers Scored 1st Ever Basketball Win Against USA, Despite Marvel Stadium Shit Show

Despite the absolute shit show that took place at Marvel Arena over the last few days, the Boomers have somehow managed to snag their first win against a US team in 55 years.

Although it was technically an “exhibition game”, I’m sure the Boomers and the rest of Australia will take this to our graves as a win, with a final score of 98-94.

“This is huge for us, it’s a friendly so we want to keep it in context,” Andrew Bogut said. “But we did make history tonight as the first senior men’s Australian team to beat an American team.

And to make it even sweeter, the win was in front of a whopping 52,079 people, the largest crowd to ever attend a basketball game in Australia. But judging by the seating arrangements for the last few games, I can’t imagine it was all that comfortable.

Now, Australia is pretty good at sport. We’re good at cricket, tennis, and hey, we even do okay in soccer, but basketball isn’t our strongest game. So, it’s unsurprising that we haven’t managed to win a game against the US in 55 years. Disappointing, but not surprising.

Team USA are fucking good at their b-ball, so this was their first loss in a major international game since 2006. They had a 78-game winning streak until today, and somehow they lost out to a team that haven’t beat them since before my dad was born. That’s gotta hurt.

We’ve played against the US 26 times since 1964, but haven’t managed to come out on top, so this year’s team made national sporting history today.

I won’t try to dampen the win, but it’s important to point out that Team USA had many of their star NBA players skip out on the World Cup match, because they’re umm… busy making millions of dollars bouncing a ball.

Boomers star Patty Mills will go home happy tonight, scoring a whopping 30 points including 13 in the final quarter.

“They did a great job. It’s really a testament to how long they’ve stuck together to get this accomplished,” Team USA coach Gregg Popovich said of the Boomers.

Hopefully the victory sparks a winning streak for the Boomers, who are yet to bring home a World Cup or Olympic medal. If this team can beat the US, maybe they’ve got a chance in a major international competition like the World Cup.

Their first World Cup match is in China on September 1st, where they will go head to head with Canada to kick off the tournament.

It’s funny how sport makes you feel things. I barely understand basketball at all but here I am feeling like a proud parent because we won. What a crazy concept.