The big performances for the 2020 AFL Grand Final have been locked in and despite the whole pandemic throwing a real spanner in the works, the bill is bloody chockers, my friends.

As the grand final lights up the Gabba in Brisbane for the first time in the game’s history (legit, it’s been in Melbourne since its inception back in the late 1800s) the talent is matching the heat of the Queensland spring.

Before everything kicks off, the Tribal Experiences group from Yuggera-Toorabul Country will perform a special Welcome To Country, opening the first-ever grand final outside of Victoria.

Cub SportDMA’sSheppard, Electric Fields with Thelma Plum and Busby Marou, and Andrew Stockdale from Wolfmother are set to provide the big boogie at the AFL’s big dance with sets before the game and during half time, in a new entertainment format for the big clash.

A huge flex here from Cub Sport especially, considering they literally tweeted this at the start of September.

Joining what will likely be the most deliriously queer AFL Grand Final show since the time Human Nature sang Waltzing Matilda, punters will also be treated to a performance from the Queensland Symphony Orchestra, and the time-honoured tradition of Mike Brady belting out the AFL’s national anthem, Up There Cazaly.

It might not be a re-do of Jack Riewoldt belting out Mr Brightside with The Killers, and it’s DEFINITELY nothing like Meatloaf absolutely butchering music for a solid 12-and-a-half minutes back in 2011, but this lineup is looking sharper than Dustin Martin‘s low mohawk fresh out of the barber.

But seriously, who could ever forget this performance. A cultural reset, if ever I saw one.

The 2020 AFL Grand Final clash is locked in to hit the Gabba on Saturday, October 24, with the first bounce at 7.30pm. As for who will be vying for the big box of chocolates at the end of this very strange year? Well, that comes down to who gets the win out of this weekend’s preliminary finals, which puts Port Adelaide and Richmond head to head on Friday night, and Brisbane and Geelong up against each other on Saturday.

So sort yourselves a slab and somewhere to (responsibly) watch the game, it’s all happening, mates.

Image: Ed Hill / James Caswell / Supplied