‘Adam Goodes’ Imaginary Spear’ Goes On Sale, Starts Imaginary Bidding War

If you head to ebay and take a stroll down down the Sporting Good > AFL > Memorabilia aisle you will happen across one of the most significant AFL artefacts in recent memory. (Keep going past the RARE clash Guernsey mixed bag of AFL microfigures and the 1959 Port Adelaide badge – if you reach the Matthew Lloyd bobble head you know you’ve gone too far).

Not since Gumtree user Simon posted looking for a tenant to rent what was *potentially* Seth Sentry‘s former room has a page on an online marketplace had so much Australian cultural significance. 

Guaranteed to not last long on the market! This exciting item will give the fuckwits responsible for negative comments regarding Goodes’ war cry – which, as per the words of the choreographer, was actually mimicking the throw of a boomerang – the chance to own a token of their own incomprehensible ignorance!

Item specifics:

Once in a lifetime opportunity to secure this exclusive piece of Australian Sporting Memorabilia; The Adam Goodes Imaginary Spear – as made famous during his “war dance” performed on 29 May 2015 against Carlton during the “Indigenous Round”.

This spear is in perfect working order and is capable of terrifying an entire small-minded crowd with an implied lob in their direction.

As you can see from the pictures this spear is in great condition and perfect working order. It would make a worthy addition to anyone’s Trophy Room, man cave or even if you want to take it out on a hunting trip and catch some imaginary kangaroos or emus.

Serious bids only – please consider carefully before making a bid as this sacred spear is very powerful and is capable of inciting racism towards the user, excessive booing and polarising national opinion.

Also included:

– User instructions from race relations and cultural expert Eddie Maguire (warn people before expressing your culture, even if it is in the context of an Indigenous themed round).

– Imaginary framed certificate of authenticity.

At last check the count was over $20k and had 57 bidders – any interested parties would be advised to get in quick!