News that states like WA and NSW are easing lockdown restrictions has likely hit you with a big wave of joy this morning. And, for some of you, maybe a bit of unease.
Why? Because we’ve gotten used to this lockdown thing. It’s shit – hundo – but humans always adapt, and part of that adaptation for many of us was weird isolationships where we dated people from a distance.
Now that you can have people over, those isolationships are set to become IRL relationships. Or… are they? Do you have an ICKY FEELING IN YOUR HEART because you’ve realised that maybe, actually, you *don’t* want to IRL see your from-a-distance bf/gf?
Yeah.
The feeling is kind of like The Ick – when you suddenly are completely off someone you were madly into even hours before – except this time, it’s a bit different. You may know I don’t support the concept of The Ick (feelings are fleeting, focus on facts and your gut) – but I think this kind of Ick is a bit more valid.
Here’s why.
1. Emotions Were Heightened In Lockdown
Lockdown was a weird time! We were all cooped up in our homes, facing a pandemic peril every time we went to the shops! It’s natural that the intense situation spawned, well, intense feelings for other people.
There’s a good chance your isolation relationship was based entirely on feelings spawned by all that intensity, folks. So it’s totally normal that, with the news life is somewhat returning to normal, you’re realising those feelings weren’t based on a strong foundation of, y’know, mutual interests or actually enjoying the other person’s conversation.
2. We Hate Change!
Hands up if you hate change, ‘cos I’ve got both hands in the air right now. I hate change! So much! I hated going into iso, and I’m gonna hate coming out of it.
So it’s natural if you, like me, hate change and therefore baulk at the idea of turning your long distance relationship into a physically close one.
This is why, before dramatically breaking up with your iso s/o, you should sit with those feelings for a bit. They may ease off as you get more used to things returning to normal, you know?
3. SEX IS SCARY
Okay bear with me here. If you’re single, it’s highly likely (unless you managed to turn your housemate into a fuck buddy, or broke iso) you’ve been celibate for a month or more now. It’s also likely you haven’t struck up a relationship without sex around the 2nd/3rd/somethingth date for YEARS.
So what, now you’re gonna go from absolutely NO physical contact with a person you’ve been seeing, from a distance, into FULL ON BONE TOWN? That is a scary thought, maybe! It’s totally normal to be a bit freaked out!
Remember, as always – you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, and just because you both sexted for weeks, very graphically, doesn’t mean you can’t take it slow IRL – in fact, you don’t have to follow through with IRL sexy times at all.
4. Maybe You Accidentally Used Someone For Comfort
Look. I know softbois are the KINGS of this shit and we get really, really mad at them for it. But we’re humans, and sometimes we fuck up and, well, use people for comfort without entirely realising we’re going to crush their heart into pulp at the end of it.
IT’S OKAY. We were in extenuating circumstances, things were weird, let’s all have a bit of compassion for iso dates who flake on us now lockdown laws are being relaxed, ok? I’m not condoning the behaviour – don’t use people on purpose and mirthlessly laugh when you break their heart or whatever.
I’m just saying, don’t beat yourself up if you’ve realised you’re not that into your iso crush now you can see them IRL, if you want to.
