There’s never a solid way to justify cheating, but some poor attempts at said justification certainly do deserve to be marvelled at simply for their pure stupidity.
And marvel now, you shall. One Twitter user’s unfortunate story recounting a cheating ex with a lousy excuse has subsequently prompted fellow users to come forward with the funniest and downright absurd cheating excuses they’d received for wandering exes in the past. From an apparent lack of memory to God-given prophecies, please enjoy possibly the dumbest collection of cheating excuses ever to exist on the internet.
[jwplayer gxLFr3ky]
https://twitter.com/that1mum/status/1202238764015333377
Aaaaaaand now we dive in.
my ex told me he was sex deprived and scientifically that justified him sleeping around
— Abby Govindan (@abbygov) December 4, 2019
he said he forgot we were dating
— ???????????????????????????????????????????????? (@JupiterDreamCo) December 5, 2019
he said my head was “too small” in comparison to his and he was worried that he’d always have to stand behind me in pictures???
— celine (@fl0werchildren) December 4, 2019
I had an ex literally tell me God was telling him to cheat and that it was his destiny to do it. ????
— christina (@chrismayf) December 4, 2019
“It was a birthday present so it doesn’t count”
— Ryan Ⓥ???????????? (@SarahRyanHolzer) December 4, 2019
He said “I did it because you don’t go through my phone. I need that to keep me in check” because I never went on or through his phone ????????♀️
— Ari (@ariannacyrene) December 4, 2019
“I cheated on you because you accused me of it”
— Lyss (@wtf_lyss) December 4, 2019
You know the meme of that sleeping cat tucked cutely into bed, alongside a caption similar to ‘how I feel knowing that no one’s cheating on me because I’m single as fuck’? That’s how I feel right now. Blessed. The end. Le fin.
