If you thought koalas were one of the nicer animals to roam our beautiful nation, think again because these two furry boys just got into a brawl on Kangaroo Island. Everything in Australia is a violent death machine, I am never leaving the house again.

According to 7News, the male and female koalas took some swipes at each other at Kangaroo Island’s Hanson Bay Wildlife Sanctuary.

Completely unaware that they were being filmed, the pair got into a heated argument that ended in the throwing of some hands. Or, in this case, paws.

The two koalas were screaming and clawing at each other before one of them tried to seek refuge in a tree. But the fight was FAR from over.

The other koala wasn’t finished and dragged him back down to continue the brawl.

Some witnesses were calling it a “lovers’ quarrel”, I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t throw punches like that at anyone, especially not your lover.

Eventually, one of the koalas had enough and crawled away, leaving the other guy to recover quietly. It’s unclear what sparked the brawl, but I’m sure there’s more than enough gum leaves to go around, so maybe we should all just chill out.

The footage was captured by one of the Kangaroo Island Odysseys’ guides Gaylene, who then shared it on Facebook.

But it’s not all bad news. It turns out Kangaroo Island is one of the few places in Australia where koala populations are thriving. According to the University of Adelaide, the koalas on Kangaroo Island might be the only ones left without chlamydia.

So even though they’re at risk of some injuries from what looks like koala Fight Club, the population on Kangaroo Island are actually doing much better than the rest of the country’s koalas.

As for the rest of Australia, it’s all fucked. I’m never leaving the house again and now I can add koalas to the list of things to be terrified of. Can somebody please pass the koala repellent?

Image: The Simpsons