CONTENT WARNING: This article contains photos that some readers may find distressing.
In terrifying news, an influencer has caught the moment a hell beast magpie launched itself into her eye. Not today, Satan, not today.
It was a regular day for fitness influencer Sarah Jade (@Jadesarah99), so she thought she would take the opportunity to put some time aside for a ~hot girl walk~. Little did she know that her walk could’ve cost her one of her five senses.
In the hyper-viral TikTok — which now has more than 5.6 million views — Jade shared footage and ranted about the moment a magpie almost gouged her eye out.
“This probably would have to be one of the most traumatic things that has ever happen to me,” she began
“One, I’m scared of birds. Two, it literally went in my eye. I actually didn’t realise it went in my eye, I thought it just hit me on the side of my face ’til I watched back the video.”
Jade went on to show a slow-mo version of the swooping and then a gruesome AF screenshot of the video.
AHHHH, it’s a NO from me.
The influencer followed the grim close up with a photo of her eye after the attack, which was completely red and vainy.
“My eye is so irritated. I was spiralling hard last night because I was thinking, looked up [on the internet] birds have so much bacteria and I was gonna go to the hospital today if my eye was gonna fall out of my face,” she continued.
“This is your sign to look out for stupid birds and they are in full swooping season and I’m not going for my little hot girl walks anymore without a hat and sunglasses.”
A week later, Jade posted an update revealing the incident left her eye irritated for three days, however, she chose not to go to the hospital.
“I’m still traumatised. I am so scared of birds. Everytime I see a bird I’m very, very, very cautious,” she said.
I understand that I shouldn’t be describing magpies as “hell beasts” — they’re only birdies — BUT COME ON. Did y’all not see that beak in the eye socket? I am crying!!!
According to Good Living — a website dedicated to South Australia’s national parks — magpies are swooping at anyone who they deem a “threat” to their babes. As breeding season for the birds are from August to October, it’s during these months the birds will be coming for ya necks (and eyes)!
NSW National Parks and Wildlife Service recommend doing the following to protect yourself during swooping season:
- Travel in groups.
- Walk, don’t run.
- Use protective clothing such as helmets, big hats or an umbrella.
- Carry a barrel of holy water.
Okay, the last one was a joke, but still. TBH If I was face to face with a magpie I would just bow down and accept it as my new overlord.
Thankfully, swooping season only lasts for four to six weeks.
So, I guess this means Ciao for now! Cya before New Years Eve!!!
