For reasons unknown (and definitely because they’re not massive narcs) The Daily Telegraph have tried to appeal to the TikTok masses by posting a video explaining why it’s so hard to get a bag of semi-decent gear in Australia right now.
Wish I was joking or that this was some kind of elaborate performance art piece. But no, it’s very real and posted entirely in earnest.
Australian Police have seized almost 400kg of cocaine in the past month. #truecrime #crimcity #underworld #police
Honestly, did this have to exist? Probably not.
Daily Tele crime reporting team Mark Morri and Josh Hanrahan talked “candidly” about why there’s a cocaine shortage in Australia as part of their “Crim City” (lol) series.
They talked about the recent police seizures of nosé being imported into the country and how that’s apparently resulting in gear being cut and bags being shrunk.
It’s so hilariously forced and comes across like two PE teachers sitting on the edge of a desk trying to have a ~casual~ chat with a class of year 10s about the dangers of party drugs. Absolutely dripping in “hello fellow kids” energy.
Also, it’s certainly not lost on us that everything they’re saying about the state of booger sugar in the country is followed by lines like “or so the cops have told us” or “or so we’ve heard”. If anything that makes this whole thing even funnier.
I love how they keep repeating “that’s what the police are telling us” to emphasise that they have no personal knowledge or experience in this area
— Easy Rubbish (@fairy_godslut) June 2, 2022
Gotta pay it, this “Crim City” (again, lmao) series has become some of the most-watched TikToks from the News Corp rag. Not sure whether it’s because people are genuinely interested or are just laughing at it, though.
Either way, a Daily Telegraph TikTok certainly exists and it seems they’re pretty keen on keeping the teacher-energy true-crime series running.