I used to get excited for new movies. My favourite part of going to the cinema was the previews. Now, not so much. Because there aren’t any new movies anymore. Now, we just get the same movie, over and over and over again. It’s a formula specially concocted to appeal to the lowest common denominator of human being infected with superhero brain worms.
Netball, on the other hand, is a game of skill and power. Yes, you heard right. Power. I played just about every sport you could play at school (it was the best way to get out of class) — this included a semester of Netball interschool sports in Year 8. Believe me when I say the girls get intense, more ferocious than the footy players. It’s dynamic, it’s exciting, it’s full of passion.
Netball is nothing but integrity. To score, for instance, you need to shoot right and true, with perfect aim. There’s no forgiving backboard to bail you out of a subpar shot like in basketball. No, you get the shot right or you don’t score, full stop. Have you ever felt the pure elation of nailing a shot to win the game on the buzzer, even better when you hear the swish of the net as the pall passes through without even touching the ring?
Have you felt the hand of god gently caress you as you bask in the glory and achievement that comes from reaching the pinnacle of human physical achievement?? A seamless melding of the physical and the mental to triumph over your opposition. The truest human expression.
Plus, Netball is real. Super Netball athletes are full-time, contracted athletes who have spent their entire lives training and sacrificing to reach peak physical performance. Some Netball players are squatting 150kg – that’s more than two of me with some extra weight on the side. Insane.
Netball games don’t drag like superhero movies. You have four action-packed quarters of 15 minutes each. There’s the real drama that comes from the last five minute super shots, you can actually scream and yell and get into the vibe – unlike boring superhero movies where you get aggressively shushed every time you say ‘wow this crap is so lame’.
Now contrast that with most modern superhero movies, where every film is basically just a feature-length ad for the next movie, focus tested ad nauseum with the sole purpose of making as much money with the least amount of effort as humanly possible.
Unlike netball, which is fun to play, fun to watch, and all available right now on Foxtel and Kayo.
