I’ll give ’em points for ingenuity: two students at the University of Kentucky have been charged with felony burglary after attempting to sneak into a professor’s office to steal a final exam paper.
How did they try to get in, I hear you ask? Why, through the ducts, of course.
college: hacked
Troy Kiphuth and Henry Lynch II (lol) clearly underestimated the extremely fucked schedule of your average academic, however – and that was their undoing.
At about 2 in the morning on Wednesday, Lynch was the one to climb through the ducts and lower himself into the office belonging to his teacher John P. Cain, letting Kiphuth in through the door.
Unfortunately for the two criminal masterminds, Cain had been working late, and had just stepped out to grab a bite to eat. When he came back and found his door barricaded, he threatened to call the cops, and the would-be college heroes legged it.
Lynch turned himself in almost immediately, and considering that he confessed to having pilfered another exam paper at an earlier date in exactly the same manner, it’s safe to say the uni is very disappointed.
“Cheating and theft of this kind is very serious in an academic institution,” campus spokesman Jay Blanton told the New York Times.
Takeaways from this particular kleptomaniacal cock-up: a) you are not in Mission Impossible, no matter how much you rock a pair of late-90s specs; b) your professors are always awake and always in their offices, regardless of what they’ve told you about their meeting hours; and c) do not go into academia, or you’ll have sticky-fingered 21-year-olds crawling through the walls like a deeply disappointing student remake of Aliens.
Source: The New York Times.
Image: Mission Impossible.
