Trump Spent Christmas Eve Alone, Tweeting

Even by his lofty standards, Donald Trump sent a lot of tweets on Christmas Eve. You can just picture him, doughy and moist, illuminated by both the dying light of a meagre hearth fire as well as the stark blue-white of his phone screen, frowning deeply as his brain grapples for genius tweets to hurl out into the void.

Most of them were true to form. Railing against Democrats, obstinate members of Congress, and seemingly the entire continent of Europe, Trump unleashed a volley of reasonably normal invective. Normal for him, I mean.

He then went on to attack the Federal Reserve. Again, normal.

And so on, so on.

So why this incredible flurry of incoherent thoughts from his addled brain? Well, he confirmed it in the next tweet: he’s alone on Christmas Eve and just sounding off. He’s just sadposting, which is relatable.

Possibly after receiving a flurry of feedback about his depressing, lonely late night tweet rampage, he quickly clarified that actually he did have contact with human beings on Christmas Eve, as any normal person would. Phew!

Sorry to hear you’re having such a rough go of it, Donald.