TikTok has highlighted that only thing scarier than having your card declined, is where you have your card declined. This hilarious/horrifying new trend where TikTokers share their theories as to what would happen if their card was declined after getting therapy, has me making sure my card never bounces.
We’ve all seen the memes before about what happens if your card gets declined after a haircut, doctor, or tattoo artist.
However all those fears stem from the physical. But as everyone knows, the most painful damage is done to the heart, mind, and soul.
I personally believe that everyone should go to therapy, and that therapy should be something that can be paid for through healthcare, because finances should not prevent people from getting healthy.
A sentiment I believe even more after seeing a flood of videos on my feed attempt to answer the question: what would a therapist do if they wanted to reverse someone’s wellbeing progress due to a payment failure?
What is the “Card Declined At Therapy” TikTok trend?
In the TikTok trend that’s generating millions of likes, users share a video of themselves accompanied by the song “Remember You” (originally from Adventure Time) by creator @Dominurmum, and feature text describing a potential response a therapist might take upon finding out they cannot be paid for their services after giving them.
And let’s just say it gets wayyyyy more specific than just your ex showing up.
Some of the scenarios hypothesised by some TikTokers in this trend make me question if anything I’ve ever done in my life has been original, even my trauma. RIP.
So in order to manifest your card never getting declined at therapy (or anywhere else for that matter), let’s take a look at thirteen of my least favourite possible outcomes for what might happen if your card gets declined in therapy according to TikTok.
1. High school english teachers
What’s a therapy session without some father issues?
I hope this reaches the right audience♬ remember you – Dominurmom
Please therapist nooo. Don’t remind me how I seek paternal love from every consistent older male figure I see. I promise I’ll have the money next time.
Off to a great start! Next TikTok!
2. Meeting your pandemic self
But do you remember what you were like BEFORE the pandemic? Before lockdown and life took all your hope away? The next TikTok sure does.
@cherfruits i was so hopeful and full of life in 2019 #fypシ ♬ remember you – Dominurmom
Lockdown really did strip us of some core memories, as well as basic optimism that when told basic medical advice like “wear masks” the general public could take those instructions. Oh boy, were we wrong.
3. Your mum was a child too
Alright, father issues have been addressed. What parental figure could possibly be next?
The way this would DEVASTATE me. Always remember to check in on your mum y’all.
4. Someone you never apologised to
Anyone who has ever been asked the question “Why do you apologise so much?” will feel this next one HARD.
That’s why I apologise. Because what about the person I didn’t get to say sorry to? And yeah I know, maybe it’s because I know I deserve an apology but didn’t get it.
Stop it TikTok, I’m not even a third of the way through. What happened to the funny dance videos?
5. Your partner’s new partner
This next one might not be relatable to a huge audience, but oh boy the backstory here is just so heartbreaking you simply need to see it and feel it.
Their CURRENT PARTNER introduced them to WHO as their WHAT???
I don’t feel sad anymore, just fury.
Warning to anyone with a fear of vomit.
@jeanie___ i hope this reaches the correct emetephobia target audience #emetephobia #carddeclinesattherapy ♬ remember you – Dominurmom
This one would suck in so many ways. Of course there’s the folk who might find vomit triggering for a variety of reasons, which sucks. But even without the emotional trigger, having a therapist vomit on you would be a pretty effective way for them to get their money back.
7. Your younger sibling
Another one of the ones that meant I had to bring the tissue box closer to my desk.
@emilyy.oliverx no acc breaks my heart@ev🎶 ♬ remember you – Dominurmom
To my sister if you are reading this, I love you. Sorry for being a shitty teenager. Let’s get a coffee.
8. Oh my God, it’s God
This next one is for the religious trauma girlies in the club. You are very much welcome (I’m sorry).
@onarose_ so long chat it was a real one #therapy #deconstructingreligion #carddeclined #therapytiktok #religioustrauma #religion ♬ remember you – Dominurmom
Yeah okay, so… the more I write over the course of this article, the more I just feel sad. I don’t know how much further we’ll make it through this list to be honest y’all.
9. Reverse therapy
This look at the trend thankfully takes it more literally, and involves your therapist saying something untrue that could unwind you.
still trying my best not to sabotage the good things that’s been happening to me just to feel in control for i am not used to a healthy environment 😅✌️♬ remember you – Dominurmom
You are capable of growth. You are moving forward even if you feel you aren’t. You are not just your trauma.
You got this! Next TikTok.
10. It’s in your blood
Look, it’s no secret that the actions of parents is one of the highest contributing factors to why someone might get therapy.
@lotussflowerrs I hear my fathers voice speaking through my mouth. I cannot escape him. #fyp #girlhood #fatherdaughter ♬ remember you – Dominurmom
We might fear becoming our parents, and the traits they have which we see in ourselves. But we aren’t destined to. It is not in your blood.
Lord help me, this was a terrible idea. I am so sad. When can I next book my therapist, please I will pay triple.
11. Your first love
Emotional damage: still recovering. No further comment.
12. Self reflection time
Self image: another killer reason for why so many seek professional psychological help.
So how could an evil psychologist reverse that?
I’m on hold with my clinic right at this very moment.
13. It’s always been You
Last and certainly least, here is the response that I would least want my therapist to have if I ever couldn’t pay them for my services.
Drum roll please…
11/10 would not want my therapist to do me dirty like this.
Both because I would then be face to face with my least favourite person ever. But also because of the problematic ethics of cloning.
Although maybe this extra version of myself and I might be able to pool our funds together and pay for the session! Problem solved.
Apologies to everyone who has made it this far.
I hope your therapy journey is going well, and that this was fun to laugh at, rather than hit any nerves.
I’m going to go cry in the work bathroom for 45 minutes. Thanks TikTok.