In a video posted by Triple M, one Wiggle and three other people curiously dressed in coloured shirts ran simultaneous diagnostic checks on their own brains, confirming the existence of functioning memories that extend back at least 12 months.
Stepping up to the bottom of a ladder which was ascended by Weird Al Yankovic some three decades ago and has since had every rung beneath him burned to dust, the group who currently attribute themselves with the name “The Wiggles” engaged in a little musical parody and rattled off a bunch of things that happened in 2014.
Like an open mic comic who uses the word “dangerous” to describe his material, no topic was off limits from the might of their recollective prowess. The G20, Vladimir Putin‘s continued shirtlessness, shirtfronting, NSW triumph in the Origin, the Bunnies taking out the NRL premiership – all were literally recalled with all the caustic edge of a dried sponge.
But it’s in taking aim at Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus where the real non-controversy comes from, with the former requiring someone to lean on, and the latter being pleaded to put more clothes on – a rare burn in which the rhyming couplet meets the ole’ “1-2 Kostya Tszyu.”
As for the ensuing moral outrage that’s sure to accompany such outlandish behaviour from the once-beloved children’s supergroup now gone rouge, we’re certain that after the clearly inevitable Twitter storm erupts there’ll be some sort of dedicated social media campaign to discredit this current incarnation of the Wiggles, ultimately leading to someone finally waking up Jeff to condemn the actions of his former fellow finger gun pointers.