Subway Is Launching Inflatable Pool Toys If Yr Keen To Get Yr Hands Around A Giant Footlong

Summer is a rather lovely time of year, isn’t it? The days are long, the beers are cold, and my word, the infinite number of excuses to jump in the pool. But you know what I’ve felt has always been missing from the whole pool experience? A giant sandwich pool toy.

Ever since I was a wee lad, my summer pool parties would be overshadowed by intense intrusive thoughts: “Yeah sure, this is fun, all my friends are here, there’s no school, life is grand! And yet… something is missing… if only there was some sort of giant floating sandwich-shaped pool toy… alas” is how my inner child monologue would go. 

And so it has continued, for years. Every pool outing shrouded by deep and powerful existential yearning. Truly, it’s been a life of pain and unfulfilled desires. 

Until now.

See, the good folks at Subway have released a giant sub-shaped inflatable pool toy!

A giant three-metre floating footlong for you and your mates to get around.

Friends, we live in truly glorious times. So what are you waiting for? Get your hands on this massive limited edition floating footlong asap. 

But how do I do that, pray tell? I hear you asking. Never you fret you beautiful little fool. If you like big buns and you cannot lie, then simply order a Summer Bundle from Subway and you’ll get a giant flippin footlong absolutely free. Just don’t forget to scan your SubCard when doing so, otherwise, there’ll be no giant floating sandwich toy for you. Which would really suck now wouldn’t it, I mean, what would your mother think?

The big ol’ floating hogs are available right bloody now. But get in quick cos they’re going fast.

And hey, if you miss out on snagging one with your Summer Bundle, you can head on over to the Subway Google Play or Apple app, or on the Subway website, and purchase them on their own. Isn’t that lovely? 

Are you keen to get your hands around a huge footlong? Lettuce know in the comments.