Sony Pictures, the studio who brought us such cinematic masterpieces as Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Pixels, have done it again with their newest film – combining the thrill of a protagonist that continuously looks like he’s got a loose chunk of shit in his pants with the heart-stopping drama of having him reluctantly perform second-rate action moves to save the day.
The film is Khali The Killer, and it is a masterpiece. So much so that yesterday, Sony Pictures uploaded the entire film to the studio’s Youtube channel in lieu of the film’s trailer.
Obviously Sony was super excited to get Khali The Killer the exposure that it deserved and got a bit ahead of themselves, and we can’t blame them, since it’s only been released direct-to-DVD last November, is available exclusively to stream over Vudu, AND has an upcoming theatrical release planned for August this year.
But quickly Sony realised that restraint can sometimes be a virtue and took down the 90 minute “trailer,” leaving behind just a broken link and broken hearts for their fans. Vudu, by the way, is widely considered the Walmart of streaming services for many reasons, not the least of which is because it is owned by Walmart. And if Walmart is known for one thing above all else, it’s yodelling children quality.
The film itself regales the tale of Khali (look away now if you don’t want spoilers!) a young man doing his best to exist despite having no discernible character traits. He’s desperate to get out of the-killing-people-for-money business, but not until he completes one final hit job for the cartel so he can pay for his grandma’s health troubles. Along the way he picks up a girlfriend who is in a perpetual state of tearful distress, according to the new trailer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztTG75JPvhQ
If he was smart, the film would end with Khali killing his grandma, thus solving all his problems and giving his girlfriend something real to cry about, but it’s more than likely that he’ll end up taking down an entire cartel instead which, let’s face it, is far more realistic anyway.
