If you’re looking for a totally normal Aussie police story, you’d best stop reading now. 

According to The Guardian, Noosa carpenter and bricklayer Phillip Harrison was pulled over yesterday, before police officers found a “relatively significant quantity” of methamphetamines and MDMA in powdered form in his vehicle. 

Weirdness level:

Nominal.

He was also charged with seven counts of drug possession and unlawful driving. He later admitted to using ice in court. The vehicle in question – again, remember, the 29-year-old at the centre of this story is a tradie – was a high-end Audi. 

Weirdness level:

Rising. Not to besmirch the hard work of Australia’s labourers, but that kind of whip is still out of bounds for most. 

Police at the scene noted his apparently delusional thoughts. Considering the fact he was caught with a decent cache of illicit substances, Harrison’s claim he was worth a totally chill $12 billion was brushed off as lunacy.

His duty solicitor Nick Hanly questioned Harrison over the sum, and pondered a mental health assessment. Then, Harrison handed over access to his bank account. Staring at Hanly were $596 million in real Australian dollars, with Harrison claiming he also owns over $1.5 billion in property. 

Weirdness level: 

Wut. 

“I would not have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes,” Hanly said of the whole deal. What’s more is that Harrison apparently offered no explanation for his exorbitant wealth, apart from the fact it was given to him in the past year. And he can’t say no more than that. 

Weirdness level: 

QLD Tradie Tells Cops He’s A Billionaire, Backs It Up With $596M Account

The only time “bricks” and “$12 billion” ever really belong in the same sentence is when you’re talking about Pablo Escobar or if you’re vibing to Pusha T, not in relation to a mysterious tradie from Queensland. 

But here we are. Hanly said “it’s one of the most bizarre cases I have ever come across.” He’s not wrong, and we’re halfway expecting there to be some actual genie-in-a-bottle twist we haven’t seen yet. Or, some actual Escobar shit. We dunno, and that’s what makes this thing so great. 

Harrison was given bail, provided he surrender his passport. The whole deal is expected to return to court again on April 18, and boy oh boy we’re eager to find out what the hell is going on here. 

Source: The Guardian.