QLD Man Apologises To Entire Town For Drunkenly Breaking $11,000 Xmas Tree

A very naughty boy in the South East Queensland town of Stanthorpe has publicly apologised for breaking the town’s Christmas tree. 
In the early hours of Sunday morning after a night on the turps with the lads, 19-year-old Isaac Hartley-Simpson was caught on CCTV climbing up the tastefully-decorated tree and causing it to flop over like a septuagenarian without the right prescription. 
Clearly hoping to avoid the inevitable lump of coal in his stocking come Christmas morn, Hartley-Simpson took to the town’s Facebook group to issue a heartfelt apology for his part in the vandalism of the beloved local Yuletide monument.
His apology might seem genuine, but local police are unimpressed. “I’m quite certain an apology wouldn’t have been forthcoming if he hadn’t been caught,” said Senior Sergeant Mark Ireland of the Stanthorpe Police Station, adding that it was a disappointment to see an $11,000 tree “totally destroyed“.
The residents of the town, on the other hand, have been overwhelmingly positive in their reaction to Hartley-Simpson’s confession – proving once again that if there’s one thing Australians are willing to forgive, it’s blokes making dicks of themselves on the piss. Merry Christmas, Stanthorpe. Remember to drink a glass of water every now and then. 
Source and image: Brisbane Times