Thank God, Melb Council Is Getting Rid Of All Those Bastard Allergy-Heavy Plane Trees

In a move to change up the kinds of foliage that lives in the city, Melbourne City Council has announced that it will be getting rid of its London plane trees over the next 20 years.

[jwplayer 2Oss7tMX]

If you’re not too sure what a London plane trees are, they’re those bastard trees that let off a metric fuckload of pollen around this time of year, setting off everyone with a slight hint of allergies into a full spluttering mess.

According to the ABC, these jerk trees make up around 70% of Melbourne’s tree population, so it’s probably about time they get replaced by something a bit different. Friendlier to the schnoz, if you will.

Sure, they provide some pretty good coverage and protection from the sun, but the pricks are wind-pollinators, so the springtime windy season for Melb means that they also turn a whole chunk of city-dewllers into a giant blocked up sinus.

As per the council’s big, 20-year plan, any tree on its way out or obstructing a building or other city infrastructure will be removed and replaced by native trees and other international plants.

To be able to reduce the amount of plane trees in the city down to the 5% mark to align them with ever other species in the city, it’s looking like the council will have to remove and replace up to 1400 trees a year. That’s a whole lot of gardening.

The city is also looking to plant an extra 3000 plants and trees around the city during the plane tree removal period, in attempts to offset the heat that a big ol’ cluster of concrete creates, and drop the city’s temperature by around 4 degrees.

Though the council hasn’t confirmed whether the replacement plants will be more hayfever-friendly, surely it’s going to make existing in Melbourne in springtime a hell of a lot easier for everyone’s allergies.