Melbourne Is Forecast To Hit Stinky Numbers Tomorrow So RIP All Dan Andrews’ North Face Jackets

Watch out Melbournites because experts are predicting fiendishly hot weather in Melbourne tomorrow, as well as sweaty high temperatures across Victoria and New South Wales. I know summer is supposed to be hot, but can Mother Nature please just give us a break?

With meteorologists making some yucky forecasts of temperatures in the high 30s, a brutal heatwave has been predicted to hit Australia’s eastern and southern shores this weekend and into next week.

Further, some key locations in South Australia, Victoria, and New South Wales are going to be hitting the highest temperatures they’ve had in as much as three years!

How hot will it be around Victoria tomorrow?

In the city of Melbourne the temperature will be reaching as much as 37 degrees, marking the first time it’s been over 35 degrees since March of last year.

This weather is expected to be particularly devastating for ex-Victorian Premier Dan Andrews‘ collection of North Face jackets. Might want to invest in a tank top, Dan!

What NOT to wear tomorrow.

Additionally, some locations in northern Victoria such as Mildura are predicted to reach as high as 43 degrees, and Wangaratta is aiming for a scorching 40 degree day. Yeeeesh!

The border towns of Albury and Wodonga will have its hottest day in three years, reaching 40 degrees. Bendigo is also expected to hit a 12-month high of 38 degrees tomorrow.

Meanwhile in South Australia, the town of Renmark is predicted to reach its highest temperature in three years as well, hitting 44 degrees.

It’s too hot, and I won’t be spending any more time on it.

There are plenty of ways that we suggest staying cold — most of all those being dressing appropriately and avoiding the North Face (sorry again Dan) — but here are some other sun-safe options:

  • Stay inside.
  • Use fans, (or air-con if you’re lucky).
  • Keep undercover.
  • Drink water.
  • Slip slop slap!

It’s super important to make sure you stay sun safe, as the new Australians Of The Year Professors Georgina Long and Richard Scolyer have pointed out, the Aussie tanning culture is doing nothing but killing us.

So in the spirit of keeping out of the sun, here’s my personal favourite unethical life-hack for finding a way to cool down:

Find a nearby bottle-o and “just browse” through the cool room until kicked out by staff. Find another store and repeat process until hot weather passes.

I don’t know if it’s legal, but it’s certainly cheaper than asking your landlord to install an air-conditioner.