ICYMI, the next round in Australia’s most pugilistic political interview series went to air earlier tonight, with the ABC’s Leigh Sales sitting down once again with Prime Minister Tony Abbott on The 7:30 Report.
The interview – pre-taped, and conducted from the comfort of Abbott’s Sydney office – was notable in this case for being somewhat more lightly tread than in past instances. Sales, for whatever reason, lacked her trademark venom to a certain degree; in what *could* be read as a network decision following the Government’s attacking inquiry into their operations following the Q&A furore that has dominated the past few weeks.
Nonetheless, Sales was vehemently on the front foot in querying the PM about issues like scaremongering, Bronwyn Bishop, the so-called “death cults,” and his own leadership.
The highlights, translated out of Politicianese into actual English, are as follows.
ON SCAREMONGERING
“We certainly waged a truth campaign about the Carbon Tax and the Mining Tax. I said in the last Parliament that the Mining Tax would destroy jobs and raise no revenue, and that turned out to be right.“
Translation: “We found out a while ago we could shout a lot louder than Labor, so we did that. And every word of that shouting was absolutely true, as long you’re willing to ignore forward estimates on revenue, lack of evidence on job losses, and realise that the ones with the most money are the most important to pander to.”
“I’m not going to deny you a ‘gotcha’ moment, Leigh.“
Translation: “I’m trying to melt your face with my eyes right now.“
“The Labor Premiers are prepared to have a decent and candid conversation, and I’m sure our ABC would be only too happy to do likewise.“
Translation: “You’re on thin fucking ice, my pedigree chum. And I shall be under it when it breaks.“
ON THE ISLAMIC STATE
Sales: “But people such as US President Barack Obama, his National Security Advisor Susan Rice have said that the threat should be kept in perspective. Is calling it an ‘evil death cult’ and saying it’s coming for every one of us ‘keeping it in perspective’?Abbott: “Well, funnily enough President Obama himself has called it a ‘death cult.’”
Translation: “Cop that, ya jerk! Abbott 1, Sales 75! CHAMPION.”
ON BRONWYN BISHOP AND POLITICAL ENTITLEMENT
“We’ve certainly already changed the rules since coming into Government. We stopped politicians from travelling First Class overseas.“
Translation: “A few of them whinged a bit – Christopher Pyne cried for days that his delicate stomach can only handle champagne that’s > $50 a bottle – but I told that weasel-faced prick to suck it up and go slum in it in Business Class with the rest of the mouth breathers. For the good of the Nation.“
ON HIS OWN LEADERSHIP
“I’m accountable to two groups of people. First of all, I’m accountable to the electorate. And then I’m accountable to the party room. Now, if either decide that they don’t want me, I’m gone.”
Translation: “Yeah, I’m not going anywhere.”
“My job is to do the very best job I can for the people of Australia, and I am spending myself every day in that job.”
Translation: “Seriously, I’m not going ANYWHERE.“
“I don’t think you should underestimate the good things that have happened under this Government, and the way we have got the incompetence – the administrative incompetence – and the budget profligacy that the former Government left under very good control.”
Translation: “Hahahahaha you dickheads are stuck with me for YEARS! Deal with it! *pulls down speed dealer sunnies*”
Matter of fact, the whole interview – and, indeed, Leigh Sales mindset when conducting these interviews – can pretty much be summed up in one GIF.
We feel you, Salesy. We do.
