We Asked The Inspired Unemployed How They Lost Their Corporate Job In *Checks Notes* Three Weeks

Breaking news: The Inspired Unemployed are, once again, unemployed. 

After three weeks of being Swisse WellnessChief Gummies Officers, the pair are ready to return to a life of leisure. Can’t blame ‘em to be fair. 

We got the scoop on why Matt and Jack are leaving their cushy corporate role (on April Fool’s Day, no less), and what’s next for the loveable larrikins. 

PEDESTRIAN.TV: Hello boys. How did you get fired from your CGO role?

Matt: Sooo we didn’t actually get the flick from Swisse. We “consciously uncoupled”. We just weren’t really loving the early mornings.

Jack: We retired! Turns out that full time corporate life is definitely not for us. But we’re still great mates with Swisse and are already working on a new project. Just definitely not as a full time gig! Turns out you really have to know your shit to make gummies. The crew at Swisse have it covered, with a few pointers from us.

Matt: The current gummies range is pretty hard to beat. There are gummies for almost everything. Well, except instant rizz…. turns out it’s harder to bottle rizz than we thought.

Do you think a ‘rizz’ gummie will ever come to fruition?

Jack: I bloody hope so! I reckon if you’re feeling pretty healthy and taking care of yourself, you’re more likely to have rizz.

Matt: We’ve been having heaps of green smoothies recently and working out. Being a bit more focused on being healthy.

Jack: Hopefully that’ll help us find some rizz.

You never got to realise your full CGO potential, so if you had the chance, what would your dream gummie be?

Jack: If we ever return to corporate life…

Matt: Which we won’t…

Jack: But if we did, we’d try to work on Anti-Hanxiety Gummies. That would save a lot of bad morning afters! 

Matt: You know after a big night and you wake up in the morning and you go, ‘Oh my god, that actually happened.’ And you try to tell yourself it didn’t (but you know it did). It gets rid of it all. It just deletes whatever happened. 

Jack: Everyone says they have no regrets. That’s a lie. Everyone has regrets. If you took these gummies, you would have no regrets. Forever. Imagine that life? 

Matt: Oh that’s a world I wanna live in. 

What’s next for The Inspired Unemployed, now that you’re unemployed again?

Matt: We’re pretty exhausted from the 9-5 life, the early mornings killed us. [We’ll be] sleeping during the middle of the day, massages… maybe a TV show.

Jack: Or two… there’s a few things in the works. 

Matt: First on the agenda is some serious chill followed by another fun project with Swisse later in the year. Watch this space. 

So, there you have it. The Inspired Unemployed duo have said “No, thank you” to being corporate cowboys and are back to being boys about town. Let’s see what they get up to next.