PEDESTRIAN.TV has teamed up with Swisse Wellness to learn from their CGO’s The Inspired Unemployed what gives someone rizz.
Rizz. It’s the CIA trigger word that aged everyone 50 years, leaving us with back pain and a weird obsession with tanks from World War 2.
Sadly, not everyone is born with rizz. In fact, it’s possible to have negative rizz and scare any romantic prospect away for good. According to TikTok, it’s a thin line between being a rizzed up looksmaxxed chad, and negative rizz soyboy beta cuck who only fumbles baddies.
We wanted to get down to the bottom of it and figure out what ultimately gives one rizz, so we asked the experts over at The Inspired Unemployed, Matt Ford and Jack Steele, what gives one rizz? The duo are now Chief Gummies Officers (or CGOs for those with Linkedin Premium) at vitamin brand Swisse Wellness. The pair have been hard at work coming up with a brand-new vitamin gummies concept that gives a person instant rizz.
Will it work? Who knows! But my jaw is tired from mewing all the time and I’m open to alternatives. Here’s what they had to say.
PEDESTRIAN.TV: Hello, what do you define as ‘Rizz’?
Jack: Rizzzzzzz haha. Something we definitely don’t have enough of.
Matt: It’s charisma! It’s your energy, it’s charm, your ability to talk to and be chill with someone you’re keen on. We know what it is, but we get it wrong most of the time.
Jack: It’s also about impressing people so much that you land a big job at an iconic wellness company. Which we’ve somehow managed to do. We thought, if we could bottle anything, it would be Instant Rizz.
Matt: Hence the Swisse Instant Rizz Gummies!
What’s the ‘rizziest’ thing a person can do in 2024?
Matt: Pick up the check at a restaurant, do someone a favour like, do something really nice for someone.
Jack: Yeah but, not in an awkward way. Be chill about it, do it on the DL.
Matt: With dating and stuff, if you’re messaging someone you like don’t suck and reply hours later. But also, don’t scare someone off with an instant reply, find a happy medium.
Jack: Don’t leave someone on read!! Haha, but rizz is sort of hard to explain, because we really don’t have it.
How about the least?
Jack: Hahaha, DO NOT show someone your bank balance….
Matt: You learnt that the hard way, didn’t you Stez?
Jack: Mate…
Matt: Don’t act flash and try to book a private jet to Miami during a big night out. Right Stez?
Jack: So pretty much don’t do anything I do and you’ll be right. Nah but, don’t be arrogant, just try to be a good human. That’s rizz.
Why did you want to tap into the ‘rizz’ market as Swisse Chief Gummies Officers?
Matt: We had heaps of cool ideas for our new gummies – the brief from the big wigs at Swisse was to keep them “functional and fun”.
Jack: We were going to go with Hangxiety Cure or Emotional Support Gummies.
Matt: I loved the idea of a “Slay the Day” Gummie too. But rizz, it just has so much rizz about it! Everyone needs a bit of extra rizz in their day.
Jack: You need a bit of extra rizz for your job, for dating, for anything really… with where we’re at in our lives, we thought the opportunity to bottle rizz would be epic.
Matt: Seriously. Give me some of that.
Aside from yourselves, who else do you think gives off the ultimate ‘rizz’ vibes?
Jack: Steve Carell from The Office. He’s just that funny and suave. He gives so much rizz.
Matt: Russell Crowe. His deep voice, his rugged look, he has just got rizz. He was once Gladiator, which just has rizz in itself!
What advice would you give to someone who wants to rizzify their life?
Matt: We probably need to take the advice rather than give it!
Jack: I don’t know. Start by being more confident. This might sound cringe, but when you can, back yourself.
Matt: We’ve actually been setting ourselves a few goals recently. Last year, Stez did a marathon which was pretty awesome. And he was so committed to it. Didn’t drink for ages, he was really focused on his health. I played a DJ set last year which is something I’d wanted to do for ages.
Jack: And that was unreal. There’s something about having a goal, working hard for it and then smashing it – that gives A LOT of rizz.
How’s your new corporate job going?
Matt: Not going to lie, it’s been difficult adjusting to employment life. The early mornings are pretty tough. We’ve already broken the coffee machine, slept through a few meetings, but the Swisse team has been really supportive. They’re being pretty patient with us so far.
Jack: We just want to make them proud! Swisse is awesome, it’s like working at Google or something. There’s a basketball court, table tennis, bike desks, heaps of free lunches and a pretty unreal Gummies range!
Swisse officially inducted the Inspired Unemployed into their official CGO role and threw a big breakout party to usher them in. We managed to get in to check it out and hopefully get a better idea on what this whole “rizz” gummie business actually means.
The boys will have a lot to live up to manufacturing a rizz giving gummie concept that’ll not only stop the masses from relying on looksmaxxing and a level five gyatt to get their rizz. But we’re hopeful the gummies will at least compliment Swisse Wellness’ pre-existing range which includes Apple Cider Vinegar + Fibre Gummies, Probiotic + Prebiotic Gummies, Hair Skin Nails Gummies*, and the new Hyaluronic Acid Skin Glow Gummies.
*Always read the label and follow the directions for use. Swisse Beauty Hair Skin Nails Gummies: Biotin supports hair and nail health. Vitamin C supports skin health.