Hitler’s Junk Wasn’t The Reich Stuff, Claims New Micro-Penis Theory

World War Two remains the defining period of the 20th Century. As such, entire fields of study have been dedicated to seemingly niche areas of the conflict, including military uniforms, rations, and the even lasting impact of German wartime architecture. 

Unfortunately, slightly less glamorous Nazi columns have also been the subject of investigation. Oh yes, ladies and gents: a new theory has emerged about Adolf Hitler’s junk that some claim may have contributed to his whole megalomania schtick. 

Specifically, in a newly released book, historians Jonathan Mayo and Emma Craigie say the universally despised Führer may have suffered from a medical condition called penile Hypospadias, which entails having a urethra emerge from the underside of one’s penis. 

It’s also a condition that goes hand in hand with having a micropenis. Read: there’s a theory that not only did Hitler go through his adult life with only one testicle, he may have had an abnormally small penis to boot. 

Let us be very clear, here. In any regular context, body shaming isn’t okay, including when physical abnormalities are caused by medical disorders. There is no medically established link between having a micro-penis and deciding to become the worst person in history.

However, we’re talking about literally Hitler here, and we feel safe in the fact that any attempt to belittle the man who attempted to eliminate an entire race won’t be looked down upon too harshly. 

One of his architects during the war certainly thought his predilection towards towering structures was a lil’ odd; on top of armchair psychiatrists attributing his imperial urges to the consequences of his genitalia, it’s also a known fact the bloke was pumped to the eyeballs with all kinds of ridiculous drug concoctions during his reign. 

Also, he could have just been a garden variety lunatic. 

Do with this information what you will. Before you go though, please enjoy this tangentially-related video of Hitler’s angry, angry spirit transmuted into a crab with a knife. 


And who said history is boring?


Source: News.com.au.