You know that pile of phat cash that you’ve just got lying around the house? Over in that disused corner, taking up space, gathering dust? That big heap of disposable income that you just cannot figure out what to do with? Stop worrying! For a simple sum of US$20,000 you can buy your way into the next instalment of everyone’s favourite blood, guts and butts novel series, A Song of Fire and Ice – you know, that enormous pile of literature that’s eerily been predicting where the Game of Thrones plot will go ever since the first episode.

Series author George RR Martin is running a fundraising campaign to aid his two favourite charities. And for that princely $20k sum, you’ll be able to get yourself your very own character named after you in one of the forthcoming books in the Fire and Ice series. Rest assured, no matter what your character ends up being, (ie “lordling, knight, peasant, whore, lady, maester, septon, anything”) you’ll be guaranteed to meet a grisly death.

If the $20k price tag for that seems a wee bit rich for your tastes, other things on offer include t-shirts, signed maps of Westeros, signed cookbooks, hand-written thank you notes, all the way through to scripts from the series and breakfast with the man himself.

All donations get you an entry into the draw to win the grand prize of being flown out to Santa Fe to tour the Wild Spirit Wolf Sanctuary with George Martin, wherein you can bug him with all the nitpicky plot quibbles you can think of.

Here’s the link where all the loot be. Get spendin’!

Photo: Kevin Winter via Getty Images.