Gina Rinehart, billionaire and enemy of the natural world, is asking the Queensland government to build more yacht mooring facilities, because obviously that’s everyone’s number one concern right now.

Her plea took place at a luncheon (aka rich people lunch) for the planning of the 2031 Brissy Olympics, called The Courier Mail Future Brisbane Luncheon. The event was sponsored by Gina Rinehart’s company, Hancock Prospecting.

Rinehart sent in a video message for the event which was filmed from – yep, you guessed it – a super yacht!

According to Rinehart, she had spent two “rough, sleepless nights” aboard her yacht travelling from south Queensland to the Capricorn Coast due to “rough water”.

And, when she arrived, “many yachts were outside the marinas, given the lack of marinas”. Quelle horreur! Please, let me fetch my teeny tiny violin!

In a line ripped straight from an abandoned episode of Arrested Development, Rinehart said “these super yachts need marinas too – sadly lacking for vessels over 50m”.

“It’s time for more marinas large enough to cater not only for small and medium yachts, but larger ones too.”

Won’t somebody think of the poor super yachts?

According to Gina Rinehart, it’s essential that Queensland has enough super yacht mooring posts for international travellers. Because of course, thousands of Olympic spectators famously arrive at the Games via yacht. Perhaps Rinehart could host the opening ceremony on her deck?

According to News.com.au, Rinehart said the introduction of yacht mooring facilities will “enable standards of living to rise”.

This makes very little sense to me unless she’s suggesting that Queensland builds housing or maybe some adventure playgrounds atop the mooring grounds.

When she’s not busy telling school children that climate change doesn’t exist, Rinehart clearly also dabbles in urban planning as she offered other suggested improvements to the state.

“What an improvement this would be if, government tape permitted, to combine the needed retaining wall [on the beach] with an international class beach club, protecting the swimmers all-year round from sharks, crocodiles, dangerous jellyfish and stingers.

“Especially if permission was given to also include an international-style and underwater bar for visitors to enjoy.”

You had me at retaining wall, but lost me at underwater bar.

Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk was also in attendance at the lunch, but whether she was taking fastidious notes of Rinehart’s suggestions is as yet unclear.