We’ve all been involved in some illegally organised parties / raves / doofs / etc at some point in our short lives on this planet, but have you yet operated on the level of adding a bespoke water feature to the proceedings?
A frat party at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology was broken up over the weekend by Boston cops, who reported that the first floor of the building had been turned into an illegal nightclub – including underage drinking, an absolutely packed d-floor and, yes, a full-on waterfall.
Police who visited the MIT chapter of Phi Delta Theta fraternity reported that they saw “a line of approximately 40 college-aged persons awaiting entry” to the house, which they found to contain around 116 people. Pfft. That’s no party.
What really made it a party was the water feature. The Boston Globe reports the absolute scenes in the venue:
In addition, a waterfall was found installed on an upper floor allowing water to cascade along the central stairwell of the house. The waterfall was “soaking the marble staircase and adding to the hazardous conditions presented by the excessive occupancy,” police said.
Running a waterfall down a marble staircase is a surefire way to turn a good illegal frat nightclub into a great illegal frat nightclub. The difference between a 9/10 crime and a 10/10 crime. The icing on the crime cake, if you will.
A licensed venue violation was issued to the frat president, for “a minor in possession of alcohol inside licensed dormitory, overcrowding in excess of licensed capacity, DJ entertainment without approval, and hazardous conditions inside a building”.
Apparently, the minor in possession of alcohol was an 18-year-old Harvard kid who was holding a can of Bud Light. Dude. Not a gratifying way to go down.
Boston Police Commissioner William B. Evans issued a standard cop statement:
Our goal is not to put a damper on students’ fun, but when we see conditions that put these students’ safety at risk — underage drinking, waterfalls down marble staircases, fire hazards and overcrowding — we are obligated to step in and shut it down.
Students should be advised that my officers are out there checking and making sure they do the right thing and the safe thing.
Mmm. Sounds like a cool party to me, tho.