Fragments From One Tonne Satellite To Rain On Your Parade, Crush You At Random

Just by virtue of being alive, You and I have unwittingly bought tickets to a lottery being staged at some point today by Life: front row seats to a spectacular light and sound show – a 4D experience – in which the only prize awarded will be escaping unscathed with everything you hold dear after the European Space Agency announced that earthbound fragments from a satellite embedded in the heavens will begin to rain down on us all at random at some time in the next few hours.

In a statement provided by the ESA relayed as part of a PSA by The SMH, the agency casually revealed that several dozen fragments weighing upwards of 200kg have broken off from the one tonne Gravity Ocean Circulation Explorer and are likely to drop in today at random, totally unannounced, just stopping by to say ‘Hello’ and overstaying their welcome indefinitely after (knowing your luck lately) crushing you.
“Re-entry of GOCE into Earth’s atmosphere is predicted to occur during the night between Sunday and Monday,” said the ESA. “Break-up of the spacecraft will occur at an altitude of approximately 80 kilometres. At the moment, the exact time and location of where the fragments will land cannot be foreseen,” which, no doubt, is half the fun.

Spacecraft operations manager Christoph Steiger added that “The chances of a human being hit were about 65,000 times lower than getting struck by lightning” and that “in more than half a century of spaceflight, there have been no casualties from man-made space debris, despite about 20 to 40 tonnes impacting somewhere on Earth each year.”