That Ancient Egyptian Tomb Has Been Opened And There Are No Curses… Yet

Archaeologists in Egypt have lifted the lid of the enormous and mysterious black sarcophagus uncovered in a construction site, discovering the remnants of three mummies, a puddle of dank sewage water, and exactly zero pharaonic curses.

Sorry to disappoint, folks.

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Mustafa Waziri of Egypt’s Ministry of Antiquities told local media the team assigned to crack open the gargantuan tomb managed to pry the 2000-year-old lid just 5cm off the box before being overpowered by the rancid odour of its contents.

Experts on the scene were forced to retreat due to the ancient stench, and military engineers were deployed to crack that bad boy wide open. Inside, the crew discovered the remains of three people.

“Unfortunately the mummies inside were not in the best condition and only the bones remain,” Waziri said.

Their bodies were found partially submerged in a rank red-brown liquid, which probably didn’t help the case for their preservation.

The skeletons will be removed from that soup and taken to a museum in Alexandria, where they will be examined for clues on how they lived – and died.

A likely arrow wound has already been discovered on one of the skulls, leading to early speculation the bodies are those of military officials from the Ptolemaic period.

Earlier, it was speculated the 27-tonne tomb may contain the remains of Alexander The Great, or even Cleopatra. Those rumours have been put to rest, as well as fears cracking it open would unleash a fearsome curse on mankind.

“We’ve opened it and, thank God, the world has not fallen into darkness,” Waziri said.

“I was the first to put my whole head inside the sarcophagus… and here I stand before you”. 

Maybe next time.