Phobias are absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, and anyone who’s battled them or mental illnesses (yo!) can tell you recovery is a goddamned prick and there’s often no “cure” to these things.
But while it’s never cool to make fun of people for things they can’t control, there’s an undeniable, perverse irony in Donald Trump, a dude with a neo-fascist vision of strength who’s also the most powerful person on the planet, needing to be helped down a gentle incline.
— Vic Berger IV (@VicBergerIV) January 30, 2017
The whole thing started when Trump met with British PM Theresa May on the weekend and, before heading down a slope near the White House, clutched her hand. Presumably, it was super goddamn awkward.
And while there are some reports that this was a “chivalrous gesture” (gross), according to ‘The Times’:
“Downing Street officials claimed the president’s phobia of stairs and slopes led him to grab the prime minister’s hand as they walked down a ramp at the White House.”
Additionally, ‘Washington Post’ sources say Trump won’t be spending much time in Kellyanne “Alternative Facts” Conway’s office, on the second floor of the White House, because he “would rarely climb a flight of stairs.”
As Jezebel chronicled there’s also a fuckload of other evidence for this, including photographs, videos, and some weirdly envious tweets about Barack Obama, who I guess is threateningly good at stairs.
who knew trump was secretly envious of obama’s ability to confidently ascend/decend a flight of stairs pic.twitter.com/0SEetX7ZLI
— Shawn (@SirFunktastic) January 30, 2017
And, while some honestly feel a little bit ableist, the tweets have been fucking gold.
Trump is a strong man threatened by: Refugees, germs, CNN reporters, Saturday Night Live, Meryl Streep, democracy, and possibly, stairs.
— Joseph Scrimshaw (@JosephScrimshaw) January 29, 2017
*young Trump falls down stairs*
ALFRED: Why do we fall down, master Donald? So we can get back up again
YOUNG TRUMP: You’re fired Alfred
— pat tobin (@tastefactory) January 29, 2017
Maybe Trump is afraid of stairs because he kept Harry Potter locked under his for so long. pic.twitter.com/MHA7fJaTuK
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) January 29, 2017
Evil, emotionless and scared of stairs?
Donald Trump is a Dalek
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) January 29, 2017
Unlike the actual dick-waving “tiny hands” controversy, Trump’s awkwardness with stairs has yet to lead to any asinine displays of fragile masculinity.
But the minute he inevitably starts running up and down the Air Force One staircase? Then we’ll have him.
Photo: Getty / Christopher Furlong.