Stop everything. Don’t read any further. Right now, you live in a world where the headline “I saw a UFO’: Buzz Aldrin PASSES lie detector test revealing truth about aliens” exists and so, right now, you live in a world where Buzz Aldrin definitely, totally, saw the existence of aliens.

Published in highly reputable newspaper the Daily Star, the report alleges that Aldrin – alongside fellow, but less-famous astronauts Al Worden, Edgar Mitchell and Gordon Cooper (the latter two of whom are both dead) – all passed a lie detector test claiming they saw aliens.

This lie detector test, which uses the latest, “top-secret” technology that’s apparently being considered by the FBI, was carried out by the Institute of BioAcoustic Biology in Albany, Ohio. To quote from the Daily Star, researcher Sharry Edwards happily explains that “Aldrin is sure he saw the UFO even though his logical mind ‘cannot explain it’.”

It also quotes Aldrin as saying, at some point in his life: “There was something out there that was close enough to be observed, sort of L-shaped.”

Well, we weren’t able to find an original source for that quote (we’ve reached out to Aldrin’s people for comment), but here’s what he said about a possible UFO in a Reddit AMA three years ago, in response to a question on his belief in aliens.

On Apollo 11 in route to the Moon, I observed a light out the window that appeared to be moving alongside us. There were many explanations of what that could be, other than another spacecraft from another country or another world – it was either the rocket we had separated from, or the 4 panels that moved away when we extracted the lander from the rocket and we were nose to nose with the two spacecraft. So in the close vicinity, moving away, were 4 panels. And I feel absolutely convinced that we were looking at the sun reflected off of one of these panels. Which one? I don’t know. So technically, the definition could be “unidentified.”

We well understood exactly what that was. And when we returned, we debriefed and explained exactly what we had observed. And I felt that this had been distributed to the outside world, the outside audience, and apparently it wasn’t, and so many years later, I had the time in an interview to disclose these observations, on another country’s television network. And the UFO people in the United States were very very angry with me, that I had not given them the information. It was not an alien. Extraordinary observations require extraordinary evidence. That’s what Carl Sagan said. There may be aliens in our Milky Way galaxy, and there are billions of other galaxies. The probability is almost CERTAIN that there is life somewhere in space. It was not that remarkable, that special, that unusual, that life here on earth evolved gradually, slowly, to where we are today.

But the distances involved in where some evidence of life may be, they may be hundreds of light years away.

So no, in all probability, Aldrin did not pass a lie detector test proving he saw a UFO (which, it’s worth remembering, stands for Unidentified Flying Object, not definite alien spacecraft). But wasn’t it a nice world we lived in for a few short moments?

IMPORTANT UPDATE: Buzz Aldrin’s people have returned our request for comment.

“This is bogus and we don’t know where it came from.”

Truly, we are shocked.