Just Some Funnel-Web Spiders Hatching In Captivity & Crawling Straight Into Your Orifices

heaps and heaps and heaps of spiders

If the sight of creepy-crawlies makes you queasy, I suggest you pour yourself a tall glass of refreshing water, sit down and start breathing into a brown paper bag, because this next video will probably cause you to malfunction.

The good ol’ Australian Reptile Park has shared footage of the first funnel-web sac bred in captivity. The video begins by showing a scalpel opening the cute little pouch. A couple of funnel-webs start to trickle out, before the floodgates open and 100s of bébé spiders appear.

[jwplayer TeuO2qPk]

I mean, look at them… A cesspit of death, right before your eyes.

Kane Christensen, the park’s Head of Spiders, says the breeding scheme will eventually save lives as part of the park’s anti-venom program, 9News reports. ‘Head of Spiders’ is such a sick title, by the way – I’m jealous.

Am I the only who’s actually super fascinated by the video and not creeped out at all? I’m obsessed… as long as the venomous sacs remain in captivity and not in my bedroom.

Check it out below. I’m currently on my 19th re-watch.