There is absolutely nothing which gets conservatives in Australia more riled than GetUp. There’s absolutely no question that the organisation is a well-honed election machine pushing progressive policy and candidates, but the raw fury it invokes among the right-wing elite is truly something to behold. Compounding their rage is the fact that no matter how hard they try, they simply cannot build a conservative equivalent.
Now, there are probably a number of reasons why the numerous, numerous attempts to build a grassroots conservative alternative to GetUp continually crash and burn. It could be that the activist base are more easily absorbed into parties like One Nation. It might be that building an actual mass movement out of proudly selfish ideology is always doomed to fail. Whatever way you spin it, the dream of a conservative GetUp never gets off the ground.
The latest effort is named Advance Australia, who explicitly bill themselves as a conservative answer to GetUp – allegedly independent of any political party, advocating for right-wing policy for the silent majority.
Anyway, this is all a bit of background to get you up to speed on where their strategy is at right now:
Conservative lobby Advance Australia will today unveil a ‘truth crusader’, a mock superhero called Captain GetUp, whose mission is to travel to marginal seats and ‘tell the truth about @GetUp‘s agenda’ #auspol #auspol election https://t.co/NAGjPHthfD
— The Australian (@australian) April 8, 2019
According to The Australian, ‘Captain Getup’ is a guy in a weird superhero suit who will appear in marginal seats to expose the alleged links between the organisation and Labor and the Greens. This is what he will ‘say’, apparently:
I am Captain GetUp the truth crusader. After 14 years of secret backroom deals they are finally letting me out of the office for this election campaign. My mission is to show the world what clever tricks we use behind the scenes to increase political correctness and manipulate voters. At GetUp we really know what is best for you.
I only have one question: how close do you have to be to Captain GetUp to hear his spiel? Because from a distance it could really easily just look like an ad for GetUp. Right?
Social media had a time with this guy.
CG: I am Captain GetUp, the truth crusader!
PUNTER: so you’re from GetUp?
CG: er, no.
PUNTER: So why are you called Captain GetUp?
CG: give me 3 more minutes and I will explain!
— Matt Burke (@matttburke) April 8, 2019
They don’t seem to have noticed that Captain Getup bears an uncanny resemblance to the kid from Paw Patrol, which incidentally rates higher than anything on Sky News pic.twitter.com/gJH2IJ9eAk
— Veronica Le Nevez (@felixroni) April 8, 2019
All I can say is this: if you’re one of the weirdos who actually donated money to Advance Australia, you’d have to be super pleased about it.