A Truck Full Of ‘Slime Eels’ Overturned On A US Highway & Oh God No

Human civilisation hangs on a delicate thread. Sanity is like the thin layer of soap scum atop a sink full of dirty dishes. One small event could be enough to break the fragile balance and send the entirety of humankind into darkness.

Like, for example, a truck full of eels tipping over on a highway and covering the road and a number of cars in disgusting eel slime, which is a thing that happened today.
A truck filled with “slimy, eel-like fish” known as – funnily enough – ‘slime eels’ tipped over on a highway in Oregon, leaving the entire area looking like either a horror movie or the world’s worst porno.
Behold: absolute hell.

Oh, that’s not gross enough for you? Cop this video.

It’s apparently not clear how the incident occurred, but I like to believe it happened when one of the hyperintelligent fish snaked out of its enclosure and hijacked the truck. Whether or not this is true, I will continue to believe it.
The fish were on their way to be shipped to South Korea, apparently. Now they’re on a road. Funny how that works. Apparently, their slime “can expand to more than five gallons when combined with water” so that’s excellent for the road crews.
Source: Oregonian.
Photo: Oregon State Police.