16 Million Yanks Think Choccy Milk Comes From Brown Cows & Sorry, What?

By

Published

June 16, 2017

Oh no. It’s the boiling-water-in-the-microwave malarky all over again.

Recent research by the Innovation Centre of US Dairy (lol) found that an astonishing 48 per cent of Americans didn’t know where chocolate milk, that favourite beverage of children and bad decision-making grown-ups, actually comes from.

Alright, you might say. Okay. Not everyone is privy to the inner workings of the liquid confectionary business. A small lapse in worldly knowledge. No biggie.

To which I must respond: oh, it gets worse. Much, much worse.

Because in the course of their study, these same researchers found that seven per cent of American adults – ADULTS – think that chocolate milk is the product of…

…brown. Cows.

I’m very fucking sorry, but WHAT?!

Am I really to believe that 16 MILLION people believe that animals are colour-coded according to human consumption? Or maybe that the exterior of a mammal is directly related to the product of its mammary glands? Because both of those theories, if considered for even the briefest moment, are glaringly fucking nuts.

MOSTLY BECAUSE REGULAR MILK ISN’T FUCKING COOKIES AND CREAM FLAVOURED, IS IT.

but it looks like an Oreo??????????

Unsurprisingly, Twitter is losing they god damn mind.

If brown cows make chocolate milk I don’t want to know how they make chocolate bars. #TheProjectTV

— #TheProjectTV (@theprojecttv) June 16, 2017

I mean guys, come ON: “7% of all American adults”–16.4 million people!–believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows.” Via @fivefifths

— Alex Wagner (@alexwagner) June 15, 2017

good morning to everyone except the 16.4 million americans who believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows pic.twitter.com/wphtZlnaac

— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) June 15, 2017

48% of the U.S. isn’t sure where chocolate milk comes from…7% believe it comes from *brown cows*. And y’all wonder how Trump is president. pic.twitter.com/mUOTgQ3E8t

— Chris® (@MusicIsEuphoria) June 16, 2017

And in case you were skeptical that anyone could be so woefully uninformed about the origins of their choccy milk:

I thought chocolate milk came from brown cows lmaooo https://t.co/twfhGDPKlk

— Dylan MacKinnon (@DylanMackinnon1) June 6, 2017

They’re real. May god have mercy on us all.

Source: News.com.au.

Image: Ronald Santerre / Getty.

Tags:

Cow, Milk, United States

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