16 Million Yanks Think Choccy Milk Comes From Brown Cows & Sorry, What?

By

Sam George-Allen

Published

Oh no. It’s the boiling-water-in-the-microwave malarky all over again. 
Recent research by the Innovation Centre of US Dairy (lol) found that an astonishing 48 per cent of Americans didn’t know where chocolate milk, that favourite beverage of children and bad decision-making grown-ups, actually comes from. 
Alright, you might say. Okay. Not everyone is privy to the inner workings of the liquid confectionary business. A small lapse in worldly knowledge. No biggie.
To which I must respond: oh, it gets worse. Much, much worse. 
Because in the course of their study, these same researchers found that seven per cent of American adults – ADULTS – think that chocolate milk is the product of…
…brown. Cows.

I’m very fucking sorry, but WHAT?!
Am I really to believe that 16 MILLION people believe that animals are colour-coded according to human consumption? Or maybe that the exterior of a mammal is directly related to the product of its mammary glands? Because both of those theories, if considered for even the briefest moment, are glaringly fucking nuts.
MOSTLY BECAUSE REGULAR MILK ISN’T FUCKING COOKIES AND CREAM FLAVOURED, IS IT.
but it looks like an Oreo??????????

Unsurprisingly, Twitter is losing they god damn mind.

And in case you were skeptical that anyone could be so woefully uninformed about the origins of their choccy milk:

They’re real. May god have mercy on us all.

Source: News.com.au.
Image: Ronald Santerre / Getty. 

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