What constitutes a five-star ride for you? Is it not being talked to while you nurse the mother of all hangovers, or an abundance of those tiny little Mentos in the door?
One Uber/Lyft driver in the U.S. spends their drives silently measuring up the people in their car, before putting on one of their specially-tailored, but also very generalised, playlists.
Believe me, people are bloody HERE for it.
TJ Jones‘ Spotify is a goldmine of exactly what different kinds of people would listen to, from Heady bros right through to fucking hipsters.
I’m currently listening to basic 20-30s and wow I feel INCREDIBLY seen right now. Am I basic? Whatever, I accept my fate.
TJ has made all of the playlists public so I went for a bit of a dive into each category. (They’ve also got a lot of other playlists, including several Sufjan Stevens ones covering each of Suf’s iterations, which I am extremely here for.)
In 30+ there’s a healthy dose of The Velvet Underground, Lou Reed, Radiohead, and The Cure. All the kind of stuff those of us that were actually had spatial awareness in the 1990s tend to spin on a Sunday afternoon while we’re having a quiet wine, or nursing a hangover because you really can’t party like you used to in your twenties.
Quiet ppl is heavy on Frankie Cosmos with some Local Natives and Waxhatachee for good measure. For all those times you wanna look pensively out the window, or don’t feel like talking in depth about philosophy which ends with you and your driver having a lengthy chat about existentialism and utilitarianism in a McDonald’s carpark at midnight. Yes this is something that happened to me.
TJ has also created a playlist for people of colour that ride with them, named POC, and one for feminine riders in their 20s, aptly named early 20s fem.
Above and beyond the greatest playlist that TJ has in their artillery is one named white dudes who look like they like rap.
An absolute masterpiece of savagery, this playlist is chock full of all the rap faves of white boys: Drake, Kanye, Future, and Gucci Mane. Sweet white men who use ridesharing apps, you have been read to death. Meditate on that for a bit, why don’t you.
Since their playlists have gone semi-viral, TJ has been asked by a multitude of people on Twitter about what playlist would suit them, which they’re answering with absolute ease. Clearly making playlists is their life calling. Just look at their other Spotify playlists – pure brilliance. *kisses fingers elaborately*
this is so weird ppl are following playlists I made for boys I had a crush on lmao
— 🦋 (@TEEJUS___) February 26, 2018
Someone get this babe out of driving Uber and into a gig where they make playlists for a living, please. Their brilliance is being wasted on tiny trips across town.
Actually, the one thing that’s missing in this great list of mixes is something for me, the 26-year-old who still hasn’t left their teenage emo phase. Please TJ, give me something.
