For everyone that comments “y don’t u come to adelaide/perth/darwin/etc???” on tour announcements, it’s simply illegal to do such a thing on The Preatures‘ bloody massive nation-wide tour that’s taking up most of the second half of the year.

The Macgik national run sees the band stop in at 40 venues over four months, making the rest of us feel like absolute deadbeats that do nothing with our time but fuck around on the Internet and laugh at memes. Ugh god, my life is so bland.

The tour takes the four-piece from Broome to Byron BayCairns to Hobart, and just about everywhere in between. I feel exhausted just thinking about it.

They’re even playing the local pub in my hometown where I’ve spent plenty of belted nights (g’day Ulladulla, miss youse), so if it’s good enough for the Marlin Hotel, it’s good for anyone anywhere.

The Preatures are be taking Ali Barter along for the big road trip, who’s just come off the back of a very good tour with Ball Park Music and a belter of a 2017 where she released her debut album A Suitable Girl and toured her lil’ toosh off.

Check out the tour dates below and snap up some tickets from The Preatures’ site HERE when they go on sale next week (presales on Monday 23rd from 9am, general tix from 2pm Tuesday 24) – text yr mates, see who’s keen etc.

Saturday, June 16
Wintersun Hotel, Geraldton WA

Sunday, June 17
Divers Tavern, Broome WA

Wednesday, June 20
Prince Of Wales, Bunbury WA

Thursday, June 21
Dunsborough Tavern, Dunsborough WA

Friday, June 22
The White Star, Albany WA

Thursday, June 28
Hotel Gearin, Katoomba NSW

Friday, June 29
Beer & BBQ Festival, Sydney NSW

Saturday, June 30
Tattersalls Hotel, Penrith NSW

Friday, July 6
Beer & BBQ Festival, Adelaide SA (without Ali Barter)

Saturday, July 7
Granada Tavern, Hobart TAS

Sunday, July 8
Hotel Tasmania, Launceston TAS

Wednesday, July 11
Karova Lounge, Ballarat VIC

Thursday, July 12
Tap House, Bendigo VIC

Saturday, July 14
The Barwon Club, Geelong VIC

Sunday, July 15
The Whalers Hotel, Warrnambool VIC

Thursday, July 19
The Village Green Hotel, Mulgrave VIC

Friday, July 20
Chelsea Heights Hotel, Chelsea Heights VIC

Saturday, July 21
The Westernport, San Remo VIC

Sunday, July 22
Beer Deluxe, Albury NSW

Wednesday, August 1
CSU, Bathurst NSW

Thursday, August 2
The Marlin Hotel, Ulladulla NSW

Friday, August 3
The Basement, Canberra ACT

Saturday, August 4
The Station, Jindabyne NSW

Wednesday, August 8
Carmens, Miranda NSW

Thursday, August 9
Uni Bar, Wollongong NSW

Friday, August 10
The Beery, Terrigal NSW

Saturday, August 11
The Cambridge, Newcastle NSW

Wednesday, August 15
University Of New England, Armidale NSW

Thursday, August 16
Panthers, Port Macquarie NSW

Friday, August 17
The Hoey Moey, Coffs Harbour NSW

Saturday, August 18
Byron Bay Brewery, Byron Bay NSW

Thursday, August 23
Studio 56 @ Miami Marketta, Gold Coast QLD

Friday, August 24
The Mills Precinct, Toowoomba QLD

Saturday, August 25
Villa Noosa, Noosaville QLD

Wednesday, August 29
Harvey Road Tavern, Gladstone QLD

Thursday, August 30
Magnums, Airlie Beach QLD

Friday, August 31
JCU Uni Bar, Townsville QLD

Saturday, September 1
The Jack, Cairns QLD

Friday, September 7
Discovery, Darwin NT

Saturday, September 8
Gap View Hotel, Alice Springs NT

Image: Getty Images / Don Arnold