Kylie,’s Replacement On ‘The Voice’ *Definitely* Not In It For The Money

If there’s one thing practicing satanist Jessie J [m/pictured above m/] has, it’s a vocal cord or two. 

That, and a dithering perception of her own personal brand. [She’s like an even more vanilla version of Rita Ora. Is that even possible? No, nobody’s more vanilla than Rita Ora. Who are we talking about again?]
I digress. Jessie J, the girl with the bangs from the song with Ariana Grande about banging everything in sight, is replacing Our Kylie and on The Voice Australia.
Per a report in the Sydney Morning Herald, Jessie J[‘s publicist] is so excited to sit in a red chair:

“I have loved continuing my support for the show by being a guest and getting to perform with contestants from all over the world and I’m so excited to get back in the red chair. I love Australia and I can’t wait to see what voices I might discover.”


Same. The Herald add that Kylie has been granted a leave of absence given she’s actually a successful touring musician; there’s no reason given for’s absence, other than he’s already doing the same job in London, so why bother.
The Madden Brothers, Delta Goodrem and Ricky Martin have all made time in their incredibly chaotic schedules to accommodate a 364th season of the waning/popular singing competition and will return to The Voice whenever an air date is set. 
Pray for Jessie J.

Photo by Adam Bettcher/Getty Images for iHeartMedia