Basic New Year’s Resolutions To Distract You From The Looming Spectre Of Death

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If there’s one thing we all share in common, it’s a general noncommittal attitude to almost everything, especially self-improvement. 

Once a year, we all resolve with the best intentions to change, before invariably doubling over under the weight of all that we’ll never actually achieve. The sole cause of this: *unrealistic* New Year’s Resolutions. 

It’s paramount then that when resolving to better yourself in some way as you inch slowly forward on your hands and knees toward an inevitably shallow grave, that you only do so with the understanding that you’ll almost certainly fail should you set out to achieve great things. Instead, set small, achievable goals to complete throughout the year and by its end, you’ll feel that incomparable sense of smug that comes only once you’ve achieved something that really wasn’t too big of a task in the first place. It’s the greatest. 

A similarly as small but nonetheless highly-encouraged addition to your New Year should be The 2014 Sydney New Year’s Eve Telstra App, which, if you can’t make it IRL, is the best way for NYE pundits to make the most of the night by streaming The Sydney NYE Telstra YouTube Show where you can catch live sets from acts like The Temper Trap, Art Vs. Science and Zeek Power from wherever you are while waiting for the ball to drop. From YouTube, you’ll also be able to watch a second stream from Cargo NYE, where you’ll be able to catch see artists Hermitude, Crooked Colours, The Aston Shuffle and then some.

In the meantime, here are five basic New Year’s Resolution garnered from an informal office poll for you to mull over until midnight strikes. 

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That old chestnut – “I want to save more money” – is so constant that it nearly doesn’t warrant repeating. However, as far as universal sentiments go, you’d be hard pressed to find a more consensus view. Hence its inclusion here; obviously it’s not getting through to any of us. 

Even though it might seem contradictory, you can get the ball rolling by doing small things: stop buying lottery tickets, you’re not going to win; exercise fiscal caution and control. You know how to do it, and, tbh, if you’re looking for financial planning advice from a pop culture news website then I really have to question your commitment to being the person version of yourself. 

No doubt you’re capable of scrounging together some savings – no matter how paltry – on a weekly basis. Only then will you be able to start saving to pay off debt, and maybe even thinking about investing in the kinds of assets that are looking less and less affordable with each passing day. 

Thanks, Obama.

There’s no better time of year than January to take stock of your wellbeing and commit to making feasible, positive changes in the spiritual arena of our health and wellbeing. If there’s one piece of unsolicited advice for the new year that has worked wonders for me this year, it’s take your queues from Drake’s tattoos [and EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON SWEET THING] and let them be your mantra for MMXV. 

Start by making make more time for your friends and family, yourself and others. Basically, everyone. The more you strengthen your resolve to not be a shit person year round, the better off we all are. Popular responses to vaguely threatening intra-office emails soliciting realistic resolutions included: Contribute to more fundraisers, volunteer with local charities and launch a charity initiative of our won; get regular health checks – CC: last year’s failed resolution to see the dentist more often – and sleep more; practice meditation and yoga, as well as being a more attentive friend and a better child. 

I’m sure there’s a hackneyed motivational poster that could say it better – be the change you want to et cetera – but I think Drake does a fine job all the same.

That’s a no brainer. Highly quoted studies people drop into conversation all the time without a sound understanding of what the hell they’re talking about have consistently proven that people with dogs live longer. The reason being surely has something to do with the transcendent joy of seeing a dog on arrival home of an evening. Nothing compares 2 that. 

Have neither the resources nor the space for a life-long dog? Have the greatest year of your life by sponsoring a trainee guide dog for the first year of its life. Have not the time to invest in a heavenly helper for the vision impaired from Elysium? Adopt a rescue dog and earn added karma points. Just get a dog, for Pete’s sake.

Can you even?

Hate to bring him up again, but Drake – troubadour, philosopher, gentleman – was really onto something with the whole carpe diem for teens mantra that doesn’t bear repeating, so deeply engrained it is into our collective consciousness.  

Unless you’re metempsychotic, chances are this is the only life you’re getting. Faced with this knowledge, there are a great deal many activities we’ve avowed to undertake in the new year to not only improve our quality and enjoyment of life, but to scare ourselves into feeling something, anything: go skydiving; develop an appreciation of old adversaries like seafood, scotch, sadly for some, reading; learn a life hack like sewing, to save money on all the alterations necessitated by our crippling predilection for online shopping. 

And more than anything: Travel. That, and eat less toast.

Simple.

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