Sam Frost, Australia’s OG Bachelorette and star of Home & Away, has opened up about her experience in an abusive relationship and how her partner, Dave Bashford, and her family helped her through the subsequent trauma.
Sam took to her website, Believe By Sam Frost, to candidly explain that the emotional abuse she experienced resulted in trauma that she continues to deal with.
“It’s all part of who I am. While I am seeking help and I feel stronger and happier today than I have ever been before, depression is always something that can be woken up inside me. It doesn’t hurt as much or last as long, but underneath the surface it lingers waiting for a trigger to rise again.”
Sam has spoken about the abuse in more detail on her site, under the section ‘Toxic Relationships’.
“I know how difficult toxic relationships are because I was in a psychologically abusive relationship for 18 months. Eighteen months! I had no idea. I thought I was madly in love and had finally found my soul mate. It wasn’t until I started seeing a psychologist that I became aware of something being seriously wrong.”
Sam details some of the harmful psychological abuse she experienced, highlighting how her ex would manipulate her.
“Some of his favourite lines were, “You’re lucky to be with me. No-one else would put up with you,” and, “If you break up with me, you’re just going to ruin the next relationship and the relationship after that. Do you know how embarrassing that will be?”
And the mental and physical toll it took on her.
“He ruined me and he loved it. I even changed the way I looked, I got skinnier, would wear push up bras and dyed my then brunette hair back to blonde so I could look like all the girls he was following and messaging on Instagram.”
The entire story of her abusive relationship is incredibly fucked, but extremely important – I encourage you to read it, because educating ourselves on manipulative behaviour is crucial in the battle against psychological/emotional abusers.
The nice news is, Sam has come a long way – and her current partner Dave Bashford is a big part of this. She let Dave put his experience into words on her site, to help other supporters of people who have been abused.
“The most important thing that I have learnt throughout my relationship with Sam is that I am not a professional and solving her problems isn’t what I am there for. When things start to get tough for her I will listen and give some voice of reason, but most importantly I will reassure her. She doesn’t need me to fix what is upsetting her. She needs reassurance and an ear.”
Honestly, this guy sounds like a human angel – he goes on to explain that he sought out educational resources so he could better understand Sam’s mental health struggles and understand her triggers.
“Understanding her triggers has helped to avoid possible breakdowns. We work through this together as a team, as well as speaking to her psychologist.”
Again – well worth reading the full piece, it’s fantastic.
As someone who battles mental health on a daily basis, this kind of honesty is invaluable. Good on Sam Frost for opening up about her struggles in a bid to help others.