Hey kitty girl, we made it. This is the final rucap for Rupaul’s Drag Race All Stars 3. We’re there, hunties. If you haven’t caught up on this whole pot of tea and whether Shangela actually went full Daenerys Stormborn, skip on over to Stan right now and catch up, girl.
Well HOLY SHIT ain’t this been a damn bus ride.
We’re here, at the end of another Drag Race All Stars season that felt like it went past in a god damned hot minute, and we’re about to meet the third All Star queen in the Jasmine Masters Presents “RuPaul Has Fucked Up Drag” Race Hall Of Fame. Hang onto your wigs, this one’s going to blow you to next Tuesday.
Courtney Fry – one half of our resident ru-capping team – is back on board this week after spending last week recovering from laughing so hard at RuPaul thinking that a train painting was the actual trans flag that she may have burst something. Oh, honey.
Courtney Fry: So let’s quickly recap before we recap. Morgan McMichaels was back in the game for all of three seconds before being booted out again by Shangela, which we all saw coming a mile away. Trixie also picked Morgan to go, so it was a done and dusted thing, really. It would have been so unfair for another queen who has worked her ass off to be in the final to get replaced with someone who has missed the whole competition.
Alasdair Duncan: It would have been the gag of the century if Shangela allowed Morgan to stay and sent one of the other girls home – firstly, because this IS RuPaul’s Best Friend Race, so she’s strategically more likely to want her friends around and secondly, because Morgan failed to do anything really exciting after coming back into the competition. This situation is nothing like when Tatianna was unfairly kicked off All Stars 2 because Detox didn’t want to hurt Roxxxy‘s feelings. I got wicked drunk and watched All Stars 2 again last week, and goddammit, I’m STILL furious about Tatianna’s elimination. Justice for Tati. Why don’t they just let her back and give her the All Stars 3 crown?
Courtney: So our final four are Shangela, Kennedy Davenport, Trixie Mattel and Bebe Zahara Benet. It’s a strong group, though I feel like at this point it’s clear who the two strongest contenders for the crown and sceptre are, right?
Alasdair: My aim is to work a joke about La Transbear into every one of these recaps, so I’m gonna say her and … NO, I KID. It would be nothing short of a scandal if Trixie and Shangela did not make it to the top two, and Mama Ru would NEVER pull some kind of twist ending nonsense to prevent that from happening, right?
Courtney: We’re launching into a maxi challenge for this final episode, there’s no messing around here. Absolutely not here to fuck spiders, and Ru’s dropped the bombshell on the top four that all the eliminated queens will be back. That’s a great twist, really. I feel like the format of the finales needed shaking up because so often it’s just the finalists just pitching themselves to the judges, and then the winner is announced and it’s done. Bringing the eliminated queens back brings a whole OTHER set of opinions and perspectives in. It’s like Survivor. I’m here for it.
Alasdair: It feels like the eliminated queens have come back more times than Shangela at this point. If you take a look at the elimination order and who’s still in the top four, Shangie has sent home three of the evicted queens – Thorgy Thor, Chi Chi DeVanye and Morgan McMichaels. Trixie has not won a lip sync this season, but that also means she has not needed to eliminate anybody. If any of the eliminated girls is holding a grudge against Shangela, this would be a reaaaaaaallly strategic time to strike …
Courtney: It’s fucking cute that Bebe thinks they’re going to be backup dancers. God, she really just thinks the sun shines out of her ass, doesn’t she? As far as Bebe’s concerned, she’s already won the competition, and this is all fanfare and formalities.
Alasdair: I’m really happy with how Bebe has gone this season – I don’t think she has a realistic shot at winning, but Drag Race is massive now, and she’s going to be leaving with an all-new fanbase, many of whom may not have even seen the weird, soft-focus Season 1. Also, her interviews to camera have been the funniest and shadiest of any queen this season. This is now one of my all-time favourite GIFs and I plan to use it a lot from now on:
Courtney: I LOVE that Shangie’s switched from pulling character arcs from Game Of Thrones seemingly out of the air/her ass and is now firmly on the Beyoncé schtick. Yes, girl, we saw your floral look when you recreated Bey’s pregnancy photo shoot. We haven’t forgotten. As much as I love to make fun of Shangie, she’s genuinely done so well this season. It’s so great to see her come back after Season 3 and see just how much she’s worked on herself and her drag. Ugh, she’s gotta be a strong contender for the title.
Alasdair: I haven’t loved all of Shangie’s performances this season – the Pop Art runway was honestly one of the worst looks I’ve ever seen on Drag Race, and the fat suit last week was a horrible call, but she’s plucky and funny and she wants the title and she’s utterly worked her arse off to get it
Courtney: So back to the maxi challenge. It is such a huge task to get the girls to learn and perform Todrick Hall‘s choreography, and then write, record and lip-sync their own little solos for a LIVE performance of ‘Kitty Girl‘.
Alasdair: Just quietly, I love that Ru billed this as the biggest, baddest, most wig-snatching challenge ever, then told the queens that they would be … WRITING AND PERFORMING LYRICS TO A RUPAUL SONG! I really, truly live for Mama Ru’s endless, relentless self-promotion. Come Season 25 of Drag Race, she’ll be making the queens model her signature RuPends Adult Diapers, available at your local Costco.
Courtney: What I don’t get is why the hell they didn’t do the typical writing-lyrics-in-the-workroom scene for this? And the recording scene? Like, where did all that go??? The whole process of a maxi that was apparently such a massive challenge with many working parts, we saw like five minutes of Bebe fucking around in rehearsals with Todrick, and then suddenly it’s the final performance? I feel like we missed out on a lot of the process there.
Alasdair: Yeah, I love seeing the queens write and record their parts for a challenge as they fret over their performance and fight back their nerves, and it’s weird that we skipped over that. The maxi challenge itself, however, is REALLY GOOD this episode. I’m not a big fan of song and dance numbers – I prefer seeing the queens doing comedy or stomping the runway in elaborate, themed gowns – but credit where credit’s due, this new version of Ru’s ‘Kitty Girl’ is everything. We open on Kennedy in the back of a truck behind the studio, and all four queens lip sync their verses live in one take as they make their way towards the runway. EVERYONE is great in this challenge, but Bebe’s portion is a definite highlight, as she and her backing dancers pull synchronised moves behind a bank of sewing machines. Trixie is busting with manic energy, and of all the girls, she connects the most with the camera – this is the best lip sync I’ve seen her do, and it feels like she could be performing her verse live.
Courtney: In all my frustrations here, because Christ it all just felt so rushed, I’ll admit that the performance itself was 10/10 and VERY well done. These four have definitely progressed from being drag queens to genuine performers. They can turn it out and seem to just totally take in all the crazy ideas that the Drag Race team throw at them and just make it work. I love this behind-the-scenes routine so much, and it’s the kind of performance that a lot of the top-level variety and awards shows like to do from time to time. It’s a good look into what’s behind the curtain of Drag Race, though I’m like 80% sure not all of the crew are shirtless and that ripped.
Alasdair: Yeah, I’m not complaining.
Courtney: It’s not even halfway through the episode and we’re already on the runway, so clearly the focus tonight is going to be on the jury of eliminated queens and their conversations with the final four, and then the reveal of the top two.
Alasdair: This whole season has been dripping with drama and schemes, but at the same time, the girls have been relatively polite to one-another, even when they’re at each-other’s throats. I guess now they’re more conscious of being on television, and not wanting to start a Stan war on social media by throwing a drink in another queen’s face. I’m all for healthy, functional relationships between the racers, but I don’t think we’re ever going to get another iconic moment like when Shangela flipped the fuck out on Mimi Imfirst in Untucked.
Courtney: How did you feel about the runway? I feel like, although I had such high hopes with Bebe’s finale look from the very intricate gem and diamante placing she was doing in front of those makeup mirrors, this Cameroon-inspired (of course) look is very … uhh, look let’s just say I’m not a fan. It looks like a week two animal-themed challenge, not a finale look.
Alasdair: I kind of love it though. Meanwhile, Trixie Mattel looks like a really rich poodle on the way to her third husband’s funeral, and it’s a fantasy I can totally get behind.
Courtney: We’ve seen such a huge shift in Trixie’s ability to transform herself in this season. She’s proven that she’s able to whip herself out of that country star/Dolly Parton stan pigeon hole and throw down other, equally as incredible, looks. A true chameleon. Kennedy’s look, meanwhile, is very classic drag – the big rainbow, elaborate gown that is an obvious nod to the LGBTQIA pride community. It’s a very good and timely bow down to a group of communities that have recently probably felt alienated and let down by RuPaul.
Alasdair: Kennedy wore a similar rainbow dress in Season 7, but this one has way more drama and movement. I don’t even know if this is her final form. Shangela’s gown looks like she just stopped by on her way to the Oscars. I’ve never been the biggest fan of her runway looks, because live performances are really where she shines, but this is as polished as she’s been, and I like it.
Courtney: Tell me how you feel about the top four having to plead their case to the eliminated queens. I love this shift in dynamic, because fuck yes it was RuPaul’s Best Friend Race this whole god damned time. OH and can we please talk about how fantastic Aja looks in that conniving devil outfit???
Alasdair: Aja, if you’re reading this, you’re doing amazing, sweetie, and you should have been in the top four. Anyway, backstage after the runway, the actual top four queens make an attempt to convince the others why they should be allowed to stay. Bebe essentially waves them away like yappy little dogs, which is hilarious and very on-brand for Bebe, but it’s probably not going to win her any votes. Shangela is back on her Game Of Thrones bullshit, and tonight is comparing herself to Ned Stark, which is … not a great analogy to make, given what happened to Ned Stark. Kennedy has another tear-jerking moment where she laments the fact that she gets the least recognition of all the other girls. Trixie points out how much she has grown since her season, and she has a point – it’s hard to believe that the awkward kid from Season 7 is now a full-fledged comedy queen and TV star, pulling out look after look.
Alasdair: After the top four leave the workroom, the eliminated queens put it to a vote, and the top two queens are … Trixie and Kennedy! Goddamn, these are some bitter bitches. I genuinely would never have picked that outcome.
Courtney: I can’t believe that the final two wasn’t Shangie and Trixie. I heard that the only person to pick Shangie’s lipstick was Thorgy – who could barely see through those fucking sunglasses she chose to wear – which tbh is a damn shame.
Alasdair: You can actually pinpoint the moment that Shangie’s heart breaks on stage when she hears that she will not be going ahead. I feel very bad for her after all she’s done.
Courtney: Shangela brought it every single week, and as much as we laughed at her, she really was the Daenerys Targaryen of Drag Race. Wait, is this maybe a sign of what’s to come in the final season of Game Of Thrones? Christ, I hope not.
Courtney: I feel like ‘Wrecking Ball’ was not really a top choice for a finale. Do younger queers see Miley Cyrus as part of the new wave of queer divas? Shouldn’t they be going for someone more iconic and a song more likely to draw out show-stopping, jaw-dropping moves from the top two? Give me some Dua Lipa or Robyn for that finale if you wanna lip-sync to someone that isn’t Cher.
Alasdair: Oh my god, a lip sync to Dua Lipa’s ‘New Rules‘ would have fucking slayed, and it would have been meta as hell since this edition of Drag Race All Stars has … new rules. That said, I’m queer as fuck and I love me a big, emotional ballad and I love Miley, so ‘Wrecking Ball’ is my jam. Trixie is serving comedy in this lip sync, and at one point, sinks to the floor and pulls out a hair extension in dismay – apparently, each finale now has to have a gimmick involving a wig. Kennedy is twirling and pirouetting around the stage, but some of that may be to cover for the fact that she appears not to know all the words. RIGHT. And the winner is …
Courtney: Ahh, Trixie. I totally gasped when Ru announced her as the winner. Totally well deserved, she’s such a top performer and well-rounded queen who can take on any challenge and bring it to the runway. Condragulations, kitty girl, I know Katya is screaming somewhere right now.
Alasdair: I love Trixie but this is such an insane twist ending to this season. BenDeLaCreme was so far ahead of the other queens when she walked away that Shangela seemed like a lock, so this is a surprising turn of events. Is Trixie a deserving winner? Absolutely, she’s fantastic and I love her. Did Shangie deserve it more, after doing so well this season? Quite possibly.
Courtney: Oh what the fuck, Bebe wasn’t a mole? The theory got destroyed! That would have been such an incredible twist and would have explained SO much about her indifference toward literally every challenge piece of feedback this season.
Alasdair: This win is going to be controversial and is going to lead to a round of angry “RuPaul has fucked up drag” takes from aggrieved Shangela fans. I mean, I was FURIOUS when Katya did not win All Stars 2 and was all “I’M NEVER WATCHING THIS SHOW AGAIN”, and yet here we are. Everyone who’s mad at Ru for how Drag Race All Stars 3 ended will still be back for Season 10 when it kicks off next week.
Courtney: And at the end of the day, we know who else is the real winner of this season of Drag Race.
Alasdair: True.
Courtney: See you next week for Season 10! Hahaha kidding, I’ll be enjoying that one with a stiff drink. XOXO
