![](https://www.pedestrian.tv/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/elora-lead.png?quality=75&w=1200&h=675&crop=1)
In what’s probably the biggest dog move this side of Blake Garvey dumping pure angel Sam Frost for runner-up Louise Pillidge like two seconds after The Bachelor finished, The Letter given to Elora Murger on Bachelor In Paradise has shooketh us all to our very trash-tv-loving cores.
On Monday night’s episode, Elora was given a ~love letter~ that was apparently from “American Jared” (the one that’s not a stick of seafood extender), but once other contestants confronted him about it, he was like “I have no idea what you’re talking about I didn’t write that note????”
![](https://www.pedestrian.tv/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/elora-letter-lead-1024x639.png)
It turned out that noted demon and wildcard Eden Schwencke (apparently from Sophie Monk‘s season, but I don’t remember him) had penned the letter as “a joke” after she gently let him down following a really fucking weird date that ended in a food fight. Please note that this is the shittest excuse for a joke in the history of ever, and is lifted straight from The Little Rascals or some crap.
Internet sleuths/online CSI team over at Mamamia have looked at the infamous note from every angle, and have managed to decipher it, and wow it’s a whole damned mess, hey.
I’m assuming they took the shots of the forged note, screamed “ENHANCE!” at their computers a bunch, and came out with this transcription.
Dear Elora,
Firstly I just want to say – the moment you walked in I felt something very powerful. It’s been difficult to find time with you as you have been the focus of other guys. I figured the best way to let you know how I felt was to put it in writing.
This is extremely hard for me and I guess I’m really taking a giant leap of faith. As you know I’ve been on a few of these shows. I’ve met many women along my journeys who I have liked, but never have I felt a connection with those women as deep as I feel it with you.
I understand that we haven’t had a lot of time to talk and get to know each other, but I’m very good at detecting energy and I have to say, yours is something very special.
I know this is weird giving you a letter but I didn’t want to put you on the spot on camera. At your earliest convenience, could you pull me aside for a chat? It won’t be awkward – I can feel it.
Can’t wait to chat
Jared xx
(American)
(Lol)
And here is Elora, the moment her heart drops into her ass. For posterity.
![](https://media.giphy.com/media/2AMcSdnvQWNZL5GCcm/giphy.gif)
I’m so very sorry but who the fuck says “at your earliest convenience” in a love note? Eden you total doorknob, this is not a business transaction, and I don’t know HOW Elora even took it seriously.
Despite his total fuckwit move here, Eden was given a rose from Elora (why? WHY) and the plot thickens.
I can only hope she’s tactfully keeping him in the game to mercilessly own him further down the track.