Nothing marks the end of summer and the beginning of autumn like Married At First Sight. The nights are getting darker earlier and it’s more socially acceptable to sit on the sofa three nights a week, judging people who chose to get hitched for a social experiment – in front of the whole country.
This season, you may have noticed a more wholesome spin to MAFS’ ad breaks (because tbh, the show has been anything but).
DoorDash found nine real Australians who are delivering messages of love to special people in their lives. Between a proposal and a BFF sharing their love for a friend, is it rogue for me to say that the DoorDash ads have been more romantic than the show this season?? It’s been 95% cheating scandals and couch-sleeping but let’s be real, we’re all gonna watch it anyway.
Sadly, all good (read: messy) things must come to an end (until next year), so before this truly cooked season of MAFS finishes, let’s look back on its most unhinged moments.
When Claire Gaslit Jesse Over The Adam Kiss
Going back to earlier in the season, (feels like a million years ago now), who remembers when Claire totally gaslit Jesse?
To spark your memory, on a “secret night out” Claire and Adam (AKA Crypto Dog) were chatting up a storm. They ended up outside together, alone. When Jesse returned home, he overheard Claire on the phone to someone.
It sounded like a man’s voice and not just any man. ADAM. The SCANDAL. Jesse confronted Claire (it’s debatable the way he actually went about it) but Claire and Adam both insisted that nothing had happened. Cut to a few episodes later and Claire is crying to Jesse over an “innocent” kiss that occurred between her and Crypto Dog. Dun-dun-dunnnn.
That may have been the moment that Australia’s hearts slightly defrosted over Jesse.
Shannon… In General
Also, going back to earlier in the show. One of the worst couples of the season was Shannon and Caitlin. Who could forget Shannon confessing he still loved his ex. Whilst MARRIED. On NATIONAL TELEVISION. Chaos.
While the guy got dragged over the coals by the experts for even signing up to the experiment, it was his hurtful words towards wife Caitlin that really put him in the MAFS-Asshole Hall Of Fame. His picture is sitting up next to Bryce from 2021’s season.
And while we’re here, Caitlin is a literal angel who deserves the world. I would suggest she come back next year but honestly, the girl deserves more than a 15-minute-of-fame hungry man-child.
Dan’s Love Of The Ocean
Although the lovely Sandy and (not so lovely) Dan got off to a great start, it all disintegrated mid-way through the season. Things came to a crux when Dan couldn’t get past the fact that Sandy isn’t the biggest fan of the beach. That’s right, not clashing communication styles or values, but the BEACH.
He goes “beast mode” and tells her, “When I’m running, I’m only running with people who can keep up with me.” Vom.
Their relationship blows up with Dan saying, “The beach and the ocean’s calling me, I have to go home.” Alright, Little Mermaid. After that fight, the couple both wrote ‘Leave’ at the commitment ceremony.
Tayla making Hugo supposedly sleep on the couch… for the entirety of the show
Ahhh, Tayla and Hugo. Perhaps one of the worst MAFS couples in the show’s eight-year history.
From the get-go the pair have not meshed and one of the more unhinged moments of the season came when through a game of (checks notes) CROQUET, it was decided (by Tayla) that Hugo would sleep on the couch. And no, not just for that night. But for the whole bloody experiment.
You can’t make this up. In the interim, we’ve had the butt dial scandal and Hugo even calling Tayla the C-bomb. Ooft. It’s been like watching a car crash, in slow motion.
Anything Harrison Does
Another contender for the MAFS-Asshole Hall Of Fame, Harrison has been a manipulating, gaslighter since day dot. Although his wife, Bronte, appears to have warmed to him (read: Stockholm Syndrome), there have been countless moments where Australia screamed in unison at the TV.
From the ‘girl on the outside’ scandal that began ON THEIR WEDDING DAY to getting involved in everyone’s drama like a lil’ snake, Harrison himself has truly been one of the more unhinged points of the 2023 MAFS season.
Anyway, keep an eye on the DoorDash ads during the final commitment ceremony if you actually want a sliver of love on your telly.