I know it’s extremely rude to do this to you on the morning after Australia Day – in our hour of the most dire need. But we must press on, dear friends. For the good of the nation.

A little while ago we showed you the Zinger Double Down King – an ungodly creation from the demonic minds of the South Korean fast food industry that essentially was a bacon cheeseburger with deep fried chicken substituted in for bread. Collectively, we though that was the peak; things simply could not fall any further than that; that we’d finally reached absolute rock bottom.

And yet, here we are today with the sickening, yet can’t-look-away revelation that something perhaps far worse-but-amazing has emerged.

KFC in the Philippines has unveiled what’s being called the Double Down Dog. Whilst, on paper, that might sound like something you’ll be doing next time you visit a yoga class (or something the creepy dude in with seven fedora shots on Tinder might ask if you’re into), the reality is far, far worse/more incredible.

As you can plainly see from the image above, what we’re dealing with here is more or less a hot dog sporting a bun that’s somehow been fashioned out of fried chicken.

Or, to put it in a slightly more poetic way, it’s a beast rip’d from the deepest circle of hell and sent forth to destroy all which you hold true and dear.

And before you go off about how it actually doesn’t look that bad, and that you’d probably give it a burl given half the chance, I present to you the satanic spawn in action. Exhibit A!

If, after all of this, you’re still keen to scoot on down to the Chook Depository and give it a crack, you might be a bit up against it. The Double Down Dog is, for the time being, limited to a handful of participating chains in the Philippines, who in and of themselves are limited to selling only 50 of the artery destroying monoliths per day.

This, my friends. This is precisely the reason why we can’t have nice things.

via Uproxx.