PEDESTRIAN.TV has teamed up with Heineken to help share some bevs.
Aussies love a nickname. We’re known for our wacky and bizarre words for things – choc-a-block, arvo, servo, and way more. But beer’s where we fall short – besides bev or brew, we’re pretty uncreative when it comes to the world of hop juice. That’s where Heineken comes in. To celebrate 150 years of the brewer, the beer lords over there want you to think up as many nicknames as you can when it comes to the drink.
Here are all the nicknames I can think of in the time it took me to drink one bottle of Heineken.
25. Brewce Springsteen
One sip down, and this is the first one that popped into my head? I wonder where we’ll end up.
24. Jennifer Caniston
I’ll be there for brew…
23. Brewyan Adams
I wonder if he was a lager fan back in the summer of ’69.
22. David Attenbrews
Could you imagine an episode of Planet Earth with the broadcaster a few brews down?
21. Brewks and Dunns
Aren’t they a country duo from the 60s?
20. Brew Careys
This one I can imagine saying. “I’ll be there in five just gotta pick up a slab of Brew Careys.”
19. Brew-ian Griffins
Alright, I’ll admit, I don’t see this one catching on. It probably only came about because my dog is watching me, quietly judging. (Very Brian Griffin of her.)
18. Froth Spice
Also known for her marriage to David Beerckham.
17. Abeerham Lincolns
Four score and seven years ago, I would’ve loved a 19th-century pot of stout.
16. Paul Sudds
This beer always looks good no matter how long you leave it out.
15. Can Cans
The new dance craze taking over Aussie bars.
14. J Robert Beerenheimers
Atomic Bomb sounds like a craft IPA you’d probably get in Melbourne’s northern suburbs.
Halfway down, the ideas are coming fast and strong…at least I think they are.
13. Lando Calbeerisians
I’ve never even seen Star Wars…
12. Not A Can of Worms
But a can of beer.
11. Lager Ledgers
Often heard at accounting Christmas parties, but I don’t see this one making it’s way into the everyday lexicon.
10. David Lee Froth
Sings in a band with guitarist Eddie Can Halen.
9. SLABBA
Mamma Mia these are a lot of nicknames!
8. Dolly Cartons
The legend has music, vaccines, why not share her name with beer?
7. Not Happy Cans
Whether you’re 18 or 80, you’ll be saying this with the classic Australian drawl.
6. Brew Wants To Be A Millionaire
Lock it Tin, Eddie.
5. Brewski Boulevards
Just make sure you’ve got a 0.05 Blood Alcohol Reading before you head down it.
4. Alex Treebeerks
Clue: A liquid brewed from barley and hops.
What is an Alex Trebeerk?
3. Oprah Tinfrey
You get a pint!
2. Conan O’Brewian
Nothing better than a late-night Conan O’Brewian.
1. Beeryorks
Named after the Icelandic hitmaker, I think my nicknames have peaked.
Now it’s up to you, if I can come up with 25, you can come up with one. You could even win $10k or have it pop up on a Heineken Billboard!
Image Credit: How I Met Your Mother / CBS