So having a famous parent might open some doors but if you haven’t got talent, I like to think you won’t go much further. Now we test this theory with the year-9-english ramblings of Peaches’ Geldof’s first column for Nylon. In it she discusses leaving her “homeland” (refugee chic perhaps?) for New York, “a city where there is always something exciting to do” (insightful isn’t she?)
What I learned from Peaches’ column:
– Peaches thinks she’s Jack Kerouac
– Cory Kennedy is a “hyena”
– NYLON TV is the “the most irreverent, off-the-wall, and creative show (Peaches) has ever had the pleasure of presenting”
– The music scene in London is “strong”
– Peaches feels like she’s part of a “movement.” (When I read this column I felt a movement too, rather than the movement “encapsulating everything cool and strange and interesting” it was more of a gagging reflex)
– Peaches and her ginga mate “Bunny” like to “run through Times Square marvelling at its energy.” (If I ever witness any of that “marvelling at energy” I will need to be physically restrained)
– Instead of going shopping Peaches “sources new vintage boutiques”
– Peaches is a bitch who buys family heirlooms off old Mexican women in Colorado for $1
– The van Peaches’ and her husband (lets not even get into that) drove across America was both “cramped” and “packed”
– You can buy pizza from street vendors in New York
– The skyscrapers in New York “reach ever upward”
This is what “AA Gill,” who (if it’s really him) is a prominent columnist for The Times, had to say about Peaches’ story:
‘I have tried to read this article objectively and without bias, trying VERY hard to ignore that I know who wrote it. My first thought was ‘Just what is the writer trying to tell us here?’ and I don’t have an answer. The piece meandered from one vague point to another. Half-stories with no focus and no final point. What were you trying to tell us, oh dear writer? Something about New York? Something about America? Something about yourself? The banality is shocking. I almost feel like this is an ironic piece. Contrary to what other people have written on here, I DO think you wrote it. Otherwise it is a work of inspired genius. I hope you heed the comments here. Perhaps go away for a while. Stop searching for limelight. Stop living in dreams and see now, now. Get some life experience, keep your head down until you do and save us from this insipid, vacuous social commentary that justifies the dislike of you. I read your interview in the Sunday Times. You claim that people give you a hard time because they don’t understand you. Well Missy, I think they know you more than you think….’
Image by: Pierre Suu via Getty
